


You must've heard me crying

by IsabellaStarsAreEverywhere



Series: Small town Sammy [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bottom Sam, Fights, Hunter Dean, Implied Mpreg, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Hunter Sam, Post Mpreg, Romance, Sequel, Timestamp, Top Dean, Unrelated Winchesters, sam and dean are not brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabellaStarsAreEverywhere/pseuds/IsabellaStarsAreEverywhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timestamp/sequel to 'I love you enough to let you go (even though it's going to hurt)'. Can probably be read as a stand-alone. </p><p>Sam and Dean are enjoying married life, and their son, Noah, is now fourteen months old. Both Sam and Dean want to have another baby. </p><p>Dean has promised Sam that there will be no more hunts, but then Cody shows up at the Winchesters' doorstep with news about a hunt. A hunt that Dean has been waiting for since he was six years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the first timestamp. There will be at least two chapters. Hope you like it. I'd love to get some feedback.

“Come on Buddy,” Dean happily encouraged his son, “Walk to Dada.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile as he watched one-year-old Noah half-walk, half-waddle over to Dean. 

“Way to go Champ!” Dean cheered and picked up Noah and spun him around in his arms. “Let’s try it again,” Dean said and sat down Noah on the floor. 

Noah was now fourteen months old, and he had finally gotten the hang of walking. The toddler had been reluctant to the try the whole walking-thing at first, so instead of walking, he just crawled everywhere. That was until Sam and Dean finally decided that it was time to really start teaching Noah how to walk properly. Now, Noah was not only walking but sometimes even running when he was feeling energetic. 

Dean sat down on the floor a few feet away from Noah. “Come to Dada,” he said and held out his arms. 

“He’s getting really good,” Sam commented and joined his family on the floor. “Aren’t you Buddy?” Sam praised. 

Noah flopped down on his butt and looked confusingly at Sam and then at Dean. It was like he couldn’t choose which parent he should walk to. He stuck his finger into his mouth and made a distressed sound. 

“I’ll make it easier for you Bud,” Sam said and scooted closer towards Dean. 

Noah immediately stood up on wobbly legs and half-ran over to his parents. 

Sam pretended to be upset as Noah flung himself into Dean’s arms. “All those hours of labour,” Sam shook his head, “The stretch marks, the midnight feedings, all of that, and he chooses you.”

“You’re home with him all day,” Dean smiled, “I think he just wants to bond with his other dad too.”

Sam kissed his son’s cheeks. Truth to be told, Sam was happy that Noah and Dean had such a strong bond. For the longest time, Sam had worried that Noah wouldn’t develop such a strong bond with Dean, since Dean hadn’t been there for the first two months of Noah’s life. Sam felt relieved whenever he saw Noah run straight into Dean’s arms without hesitating. 

“He’s getting big,” Dean commented. 

“Yeah, he is, has your appetite, and my giant genes,” Sam chuckled. Noah was definitely taller than the average one-year-old, and he wasn’t exactly picky when it came to food. He’d pretty much eat, or at least try, everything. Just six months ago, he had refused almost everything. Sam had nursed Noah for almost ten months, and during the last couple months of nursing, they had gradually tried to introduce Noah to pureed food. 

Noah hadn’t been a happy camper at first, but once Sam started to make fun things out of the food, Noah devoured everything. Sam now knew how to make flowers out of carrot purée. It was a skill he was particularly proud of. 

“I was kind of hoping you’d say something else,” Dean winked at Sam. 

“Like what?” Sam asked curiously. 

“That you miss having an infant around,” Dean smiled. 

“You want another baby?” Sam could feel his heart starting to beat faster. They had talked about having another baby, but they hadn’t planned when they were going to start trying. Sam never would've thought that Dean would want another baby so soon. Noah was still so little, and Sam was scared that Noah would feel left out if he had to start sharing his parents with a small baby. On the other hand, a small age difference could mean that Noah and his younger sibling would have a better relationship. It’d probably be easier for Noah to play with someone who was so close to his own age. 

“Yeah,” Deans said softly. “I want to have another baby.”

Sam felt unsure. Before he made a decision, he wanted to weigh up the pros and the cons.

“What do you want?” Dean asked. 

Deep down, Sam knew what he wanted. He wanted another baby. A warm feeling started to spread in his chest at the thought of having another baby to shower with love. “I’m only nineteen,” Sam said, “This is crazy,” he let out small laugh. “But yeah, I want to have another baby.”

“Yeah?” Dean said hopefully. “You want to start trying?” 

“When this little one falls asleep,” Sam smiled and kissed Noah’s hand.

“Huh,” Dean frowned, “That was easy.” He had been prepared to convince Sam, he even had a whole speech planned. 

Sam narrowed his eyes at his husband. “Are you implying that I’m easy?” he joked. 

“I know you are,” Dean winked at Sam, “I don’t blame you. I’m quite charming.”

“Yeah, well, keep up that attitude, and you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight Prince Charming,” Sam threw back. 

“Nah, you need me to make a baby,” Dean poked Sam in the side. 

“Not really,” Sam poked Dean back, “I can go out and find myself another suitable daddy for my baby.”

“Oh, is that so?” Dean tried to keep the tone light, because he knew that Sam was only joking, but damn it if Sammy’s jokes didn’t bring out Dean’s possessive side. “You will do no such thing,” Dean stated. 

“But Mr. Brooks across the street always says that I can come to him for help,” Sam loved that he could still get Dean all riled up. Mr. Brooks was as straight as they come, but Dean still looked quite unpleased to say the least. 

“I love you,” Sam let out a small laugh and pecked Dean on the lips. “Of course you are going to be the daddy.”

Dean squeezed Sam’s knee. “And you want this? You want to have another baby?” Dean asked just to make sure. 

Sam nodded and watched as Noah ran off to go and get his favourite toy. The big fluffy Birthday Bear that Dean had given Sam for his seventeenth birthday was Noah’s absolute favourite. Noah and BB, as Noah called the bear, were inseparable. It warmed Sam’s heart every time he watched his son cuddle up with the stuffed animal that Dean had bought at their small convenience store. Sam remembered it as if it were yesterday. How he had tried to tell Dean that he was turning seventeen, and not seven, and that he was too old for stuffed animals. But deep down he wanted that bear. Sam remembered how he had fallen hard for Dean that night. He had laid awake and hugged BB, and he had felt happy. Happy to have found love. 

Noah giggled and kissed BB’s nose. “BB beaw,” Noah grinned and walked over to Sam and brought his bear with him. 

“Yeah, it’s your buddy,” Sam smiled and hugged his son and the plush toy. Noah eagerly returned the hug. 

Dean didn’t waste a second, he pulled in his family for a great, big hug. It was the biggest chick-flick moment in history, but he didn’t give a crap. He loved his family, and he was going to shower them with love. “Guess what Buddy?” Dean turned to his son. “Your daddies are going to give you a little brother or a little sister.”

Noah looked up at Dean with his big eyes, and his mouth was shaped into a silent “o”. 

“We’re gonna grow it here, in daddy’s belly,” Deans aid and patted Sam’s stomach. 

Noah placed the palm of his hand over Sam’s tummy. 

“I think he approves,” Dean smiled at Sammy. 

“So are you ready to wake up to the sounds of me retching into the toilet bowl every morning?” Sam asked. 

“I’ll be there to hold your hair back and rub your back,” Dean promised. 

Sam smiled at Dean before he turned to his son. “So are you feeling sleepy?”

Noah shook his head. 

Dean and Sam laughed at that. 

“Looks like babymaking is gonna have to wait,” Dean stated.

\--

Sam was already in bed, when Dean came back from the bathroom. 

“Should we go out to the car?” Dean smiled. 

Sam looked up from the book he was reading. “Huh?” he asked in confusion. 

“Well, that is where we made our first baby. Don’t wanna mess with traditions, do we?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. 

“We are not making baby number two in the backseat of the Impala,” Sam laughed. 

“Why not?” Dean asked. He hadn’t been joking, he really wanted to carry on the tradition. 

“You can’t be serious Dean,” Sam exclaimed, “We have a big, comfy bed right here.”

“But the bed is boring,” Dean whined.

Sam frowned. “So you are telling me that our bed, where we have made love several times, is boring?”

“No, I just want to continue the tradition, that’s all,” Dean pouted.

“Dean,” Sam sighed. At first, he had thought that Dean had only been joking, but now Sam realized that Dean really wanted to go out to the car and make a baby with him. 

“We can bring the baby monitor with us. The Impala is parked right outside,” Dean pleaded. 

Sam let out another sigh. “You really want this, don’t you?”

“We did so well last time,” Dean winked at Sam. 

“I’m crazy for agreeing to this,” Sam laughed. 

Dean’s eyes widened. “You mean, you’re in?”

Sam threw his hands up in the air. “I’m in!” he exclaimed. Dean had managed to convince him. “Lead the way.”

Dean immediately grabbed the baby monitor, and then he grabbed Sam’s hand and practically dragged him out to the car. 

They had a pretty thick hedge around their yard, so no one could see in, but Sam still took a quick look around just to make that they didn’t have an audience. It was pretty late, and almost everyone in the neighbourhood were older and went to bed early, so all houses were dark. 

“I love you so much,” Dean breathed as he undressed Sam in the backseat of the Impala. 

“I love you too,” Sam smiled up at Dean. Sam’s fingers trembled as he pulled off Dean’s shirt. 

Dean caught Sam’s shaky hands and kissed every knuckle. Sam finally relaxed. All the nervousness was suddenly gone. Dean always managed to calm him down. 

Sam let out a gasp as one of Dean’s lube-slicked fingers entered him. He pulled Dean down for a kiss. Sam’s heart was pounding in his chest. This was huge. Dean was going to enter him bare for the first time ever. 

Dean looked for any sign of discomfort on Sam’s face, and when he couldn’t find any, he added another finger. It never ceased to amaze him how easily Sam opened up for him, how much Sam trusted him. Dean scissored his fingers, and stretched Sam’s insides, until Sam felt all loose and pliant. 

“I love you,” Dean whispered before he slicked himself up and pushed in. 

Sam gasped at the intrusion. After Dean had pushed all the way in, he looked down at Sam, awaiting his permission to move. This was something that Dean always did, even though Sam had said that it wasn’t necessary. 

“Ready?” Dean breathed hard. They both knew what that ‘ready’ really meant. It was so much more than just Sam giving Dean permission to start moving. This was Dean was asking if Sam was ready to expand their family. 

Sam didn’t hesitate for a second, he immediately nodded. 

Dean leaned down and captured Sam’s lips in a mind-blowing kiss. Sam held onto Dean as they started moving together. 

Some kind of primal instinct in Dean drove him to push deeper and deeper inside Sam’s body. Dean held onto Sam’s hips as he pulled out slightly only to push right back in again. 

Usually, they tried to hold back their orgasms so they could make love for as long as possible, but this time they didn’t bother with that. Dean picked up his pace and dove into Sam faster and faster. It didn’t take long for them both to come. Sam came untouched with a loud cry, and Dean followed seconds later. 

For a while they just laid there and panted heavily as they tried to come down from their high. 

“Wow,” Sam was the first one to break the silence. “Wow,” he said again and smiled so big that his cheeks hurt.

“You got that right,” Dean laughed. 

“You’re still heavy,” Sam smiled and poked at Dean’s chest. He thought back to their first time in the Impala. How Dean had collapsed on top of him back then too. Even though Dean was heavy, Sam didn’t want him to move. He smiled as he ran his hands up and down Dean’s sweaty back. “I never thought I’d be saying this, but I’m actually glad we’re here, in the same place where we made our first child.”

“It’s a fun story for the grandkids,” Dean smirked.

“Oh, no,” Sam quickly protested. “We’re not telling anyone about this.”

Dean just laughed. 

\--

Sam went inside the nursery to check on Noah. Noah was sleeping peacefully in his crib right next to BB. 

It was almost unbelievable that soon there might be another little Winchester. 

Sam’s hands went down to his stomach, he knew that there was a possibility that something wonderful could be happening right underneath the palms of his hands. He smiled when he felt Dean’s strong arms circle him from behind. 

Dean placed his chin on Sam’s shoulder. “Look what our love has done,” Dean whispered into Sam’s ear as they looked down at their little boy. 

\--

“Have you taken a test yet?” Dean asked Sam. 

Sam shook his head as he chewed on a mouthful of pancakes. “It’s too early, it’s only been ten days.”

“Open up Buddy,” Dean said to Noah and when Noah opened his mouth, Dean fed him a spoonful of pureed carrots. “But can’t you book a doctor’s appointment? Maybe Dr Lawrence can squeeze you in?” he suggested. Dr Lawrence would probably be able to detect an early pregnancy if a test from the drugstore couldn’t. 

Sam smiled. “Eager?”

“Yeah, I am,” Dean didn’t even bother to hide his excitement. 

“I’ll call her and see if she has any openings,” Sam promised. 

“Good,” Dean smiled. “I wonder what this tastes like,” he said and looked down at the pureed carrots. 

“It’s delicious actually,” Sam said. Truth to be told, the pureed carrots were not yummy at all, Sam had tried them once and gagged. 

Dean looked at Sam with disbelief. “Really?” he asked.

“Mhmm,” Sam nodded.

Dean tried a spoonful of the orange goo, and instantly gagged. 

Sam couldn’t help but laugh as he watched his husband run off to the kitchen sink and spit several times. 

“Is that what you call delicious?” Dean exclaimed and spit again. “I have to go brush my teeth.”

Sam couldn’t stop laughing. Even Noah joined in on the laughter. 

When Dean was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, the doorbell rang. 

Sam jogged over to the front door and looked through the peep hole, and was surprised to see Cody standing there. Sam had only met Cody once. Cody had been passing through Jacksville and made a quick stop at Winchesters’. 

Sam opened the door. “Hi,” he greeted Cody with. 

“Hi Sam,” Cody said without so much as a smile. “Is Dean around?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “Come on in,” he stepped aside so Cody could come inside the house. 

Cody didn’t move. “Actually, could you tell him to come outside?” 

Sam didn’t like the sound of that. It was obvious that Cody didn’t want Sam to hear the conversation. 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “I’ll go get him.”

\--

“Cody,” Dean said and pulled his best friend in for a hug. He slapped him on the back a few times before he pulled back. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, how have you guys been?” Cody asked. 

“Good, good,” Dean said, “Noah’s walking now.”

“I can’t wait to see that,” Cody smiled.

“So, why are we out here?” Dean cut straight to the point. “I know that my dad’s okay, because he called me two day ago. Said he was gonna take a break from hunting for a while.”

“The break’s over,” Cody replied. “For all of us. Zach is on his way to the motel where your dad’s staying.”

Cody’s older brother Zach hadn’t hunted in years, not since he got married and had a couple of kids. “Zach’s going on a hunt?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, your dad has saved Zach’s life a number of times, and this hunt is Zach’s way of repaying your father,” Cody nodded. “We’re going to need every hunter we can get on this. An old friend of Zach is coming along too.”

“What’s going on?” Dean wanted to know. 

“Last night, we got a call from two hunters, the Clarke couple,” Cody said, “They had been visiting a friend, and while they were in the middle of having dinner they noticed that the neighbour’s house were on fire. They rushed over there to help out, but they quickly noticed that there was something unusual about the fire, the way it was spreading and how it had started too quickly.”

Dean froze. He knew where Cody was trying to say. “Are they sure?” Dean asked. 

Cody nodded. “They have heard your father telling the story several times, they knew that they were dealing with the exact thing.”

“How far from here?” Dean asked.

“It’s a four hour drive,” Cody said. “The Clarkes are already on it. We just need to meet up with them.

There it was, the word ‘we’. Cody expected Dean to come along. Dean knew that he had to. But he also knew that he had a husband and son inside the house. Sam would be devastated if Dean left. 

But Dean knew that this was one hunt that he couldn’t skip. And truth to be told, he didn’t want to skip it. This was his time to get revenge. He wanted to be there for his dad, he wanted them both to get their well-earned revenge that they had been waiting for so many years.

Dean also knew that he had to be there to make sure his dad didn’t do something stupid, like losing patience. John was so full of anger and need to get revenge that he might lose focus and slip up. One mistake, and John would die. Then Dean would be completely without parents, and Dean couldn’t let that happen. His father was his hero, his only parent. 

“I have to talk to Sam,” Dean said. 

\--

Sam was feeding Noah when Dean came into the kitchen. 

Dean didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to, Sam understood right away what Cody had stopped by for. 

“He wants you to come along on a hunt, doesn’t he?” Sam asked. 

Dean nodded. 

“You told him no, right?” Sam’s hand was shaking as he fed Noah another spoonful of pureed carrots. 

“No, I didn’t,” Dean admitted. “I think we should talk somewhere else,” he said, since he knew that there would probably be lots of screaming and yelling, and he didn’t want Noah near that. 

“You’re not going, end of story,” Sam stated. 

“Come on Sam, let’s go outside. Noah will be fine on his own,” Dean urged. 

Sam unwillingly followed Dean outside. 

“You are not taking my husband anywhere!” Sam yelled at Cody. 

“Look Sam, this isn’t just a regular hunt, we need Dean on this one,” Cody tried to explain. 

“I don’t care!” Sam cried in desperation. “We have a child Dean,” Sam cried, “You are his father, and he needs you. If you don’t care about me, then at least stay for Noah’s sake.”

“Sam, of course I care about you. I love you and Noah with all my heart,” Dean said, his voice was full of emotion. 

“Then don’t go,” Sam cried. 

“We need every hunter we can get,” Cody said when Dean didn’t say anything. “This is Dean’s moment to get revenge once and for all.”

Sam stood rooted to the spot. He understood what Cody meant. “No, you’re not going!” Sam yelled. This wasn’t just a regular hunt. Even though regular hunts were dangerous, this was even worse. 

“We have to leave now, your dad just called, I said we were on our way,” Cody told Dean.

Dean placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “Sam, I want you and Noah to stay with your dad. I’m going to call a friend of mine, he’s a retired hunter, and his name is Colton. He has met your father a few times.” Just as a precaution, Dean was going to make sure Sam had protection. 

“You are not going,” Sam repeated. 

“Dean, it’s time to go,” Cody stressed. 

“I love you Sammy,” Dean said and pressed his lips against Sam’s. 

In the kitchen, Noah had started crying. Dean rushed inside and picked him up. Usually, Noah was easy to soothe, but right now it was almost as if he knew that his father was leaving. Noah cried even louder, and it didn’t help when Dean tried to rock him. “Come on Buddy,” Dean whispered. “I don’t like this either, but I have to go,” Dean felt a single tear roll down his cheek, but he instantly wiped away. Now was not the time for crying, he had to be strong. 

\--

Noah was still crying, and Sam wanted to go and comfort his son, but he couldn’t move. His muscles had given out. Under a minute ago, he had watched Dean leave with Cody. It didn’t matter how much Sam had begged Dean not to. Dean had left. 

Sam’s whole body wracked with sobs. He hugged his knees to his chest and just screamed out loud. Noah’s cries got even louder, and Sam tried to stand up but fell down. 

The front door opened, and Bobby walked in. 

“Sam,” Bobby’s heart ached as he watched his son trying to stand up. Sam looked like he was going to pass out any second, and Bobby didn’t know how he was supposed to hold himself together. He had no idea how he was going to comfort Sam. 

“Get Noah,” Sam sobbed. He didn’t want his son to be alone crying. 

“I’ll help you to the couch first,” Bobby said and half-carried Sam to the living room and laid him down on the couch. “I’ll go take care of Noah,” Bobby said.

\--

“I could kill Dean for doing this to Sam and Noah,” Bobby said. 

“I agree with you,” Colton nodded. “When I got married I knew I had to stop hunting. Jess never liked when I went out on hunts. She told me that she’d marry me on one condition, and that was if I quit hunting. I love her more than I love hunting, so it was an easy decision. Every hunter should quit once they have gotten married. It’s not fair to the spouse.” To Colton, family came first. But he understood where Dean was coming from. Colton had met Mary Winchester many times. They had worked at the same grocery store before she got pregnant and became a stay-at-home mom. Back then Colton hadn’t even heard of hunting. It’d take nearly ten years for him to get introduced to hunting by a friend of his. Anyone who met Mary Winchester immediately liked her. She was so kind and loving, and she was an amazing mother and wife. 

Colton understood why Dean had to do this for his mom. He also knew that John Winchester would probably screw up if Dean wasn’t there to help him stay focused. John had been driven by rage for so many years, and with that amount of rage, he’d lose his patience and temper quickly. 

“I don’t know how to help Sam,” Bobby admitted in a low whisper. “He’s heartbroken, and I try to tell him that everything is going to be okay, but truthfully, I don’t know. John always goes on hunts alone. He’s been hunting for years, he knows how to handle hunts on his own. He wants to do them on his own. But this time he has contacted every hunter he knows, and I know that he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t have to. This is the most dangerous hunt that Dean and John have ever been on.”

“John’s got the best hunters in on this,” Colton said. “Cody’s entire family is in on this. They are all as good as John and Dean are. They will succeed.”

Bobby hoped that Colton was right. 

\--

Sam kissed Noah’s cheeks and pulled him in for a hug. “I love you so much Buddy,” he said and inhaled Noah’s baby scent. 

“Dada,” Noah said. 

Sam’s heart broke, because he knew that Noah was talking about Dean since Dean is Dada, and Sam was Dad. 

“He’s going to come back to us,” Sam whispered quietly. “He’s just going on a hunt, but he’ll be back before we know it.” Sam didn’t know who he was trying to convince, Noah or himself. 

“Dada,” Noah said again, and Sam couldn’t contain his emotions any longer, he broke down in tears. 

\--

Bobby heard his son’s cries, and immediately rushed upstairs and Colton followed behind. 

Colton took care of Noah, while Bobby took care of Sam.

“I’m a horrible parent,” Sam cried. “I can’t even take care of my own son.”

“Shh,” Bobby soothed and enveloped Sam’s in a big hug. “You’re a great parent Sam, but right now you just need a little help, that’s all.”

“I can’t lose Dean,” Sam sobbed. “I can’t be without him. I need him, and Noah needs him.”

“Dean’s going to be fine,” Bobby said and rubbed Sam’s back. He thought back to what Colton had said. “They’ve got lots of experienced hunters in on this hunt.”

“It’s because it’s a dangerous hunt,” Sam said quietly. “John would never let this many hunters in on a hunt if it was an easy hunt.”

Bobby knew that Sam was smart, but he had still been hoping that Sam wouldn’t be able to figure that out. Bobby had wanted Sam to believe that John had only brought so many hunters along as a precaution. But there was no fooling Sam. 

\--

Two weeks passed. Dean called every now and then for a quick talk. He talked about the hunt, and said that they had a few pretty good leads. Sam didn’t want to hear about the hunt. He wanted his husband home. 

Sam took a deep breath before he went inside the bathroom. He had thrown up this morning from the smell of bacon. The last time he had done that was when he had been pregnant. 

So he had gone to the pharmacy and picked up a pregnancy test. 

He took another deep breath before he unbuttoned his pants. His hands were shaking, and he was struggling to get his fly open. 

\--

This pregnancy was supposed to be different. Sam wasn’t supposed to be alone this time. Dean was supposed to be there, anxiously waiting for the results. 

But Sam was alone in the bathroom. He carefully picked up the test and there they were, two bright lines. Sam was pregnant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to start off by apologizing for not posting a chapter in over a month. I've been extremely busy lately. But I've missed writing, so I thought I'd pick it up again. Things should calm down soon, so I'll start posting regularly again next week or so. 
> 
> I hope you'll understand. Thank you for reading, and thank you for all the lovely comments that I've recieved. I'm glad you liked 'I love you enough to let you go (even though it's going to hurt)' enough to read the timestamp too. 
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter two. :)

This baby had been planned. They both wanted to expand their family. 

Sam’s hands trembled as he placed them over his stomach. There was a life growing underneath the palms of his hands. A life that he had to take care of and protect. And for now, that was the only important thing. Sam didn’t want to think about the fact that Dean was on the most dangerous hunt ever, or that they were running low on money, since Dean was the sole income earner, and he had taken time off work. Then there was that stupid voice in the back of Sam’s mind that told him that there was a risk that he could lose Dean forever. That Dean might not make it through this hunt alive. That thought kept Sam up at night. It invaded his mind, and there was nothing he could do about it, except for suffering through the panic attacks that he experienced every single time he involuntarily thought about losing Dean. 

It felt like that time when Dean had gotten badly injured, and his life was hanging by a loose thread. Sam was re-living that moment over and over again in his mind. Sometimes it felt as if the walls were closing in on him and he couldn’t breathe. 

Sam was struggling emotionally, financially, and sometimes he couldn’t even take care of his own son. And on top of that he was pregnant. Pregnant with a baby that he had already fallen in love with. They had made this baby with love, and it didn’t matter that the timing wasn’t ideal, the baby was already there, safely nestled inside Sam’s tummy. Sam promised himself that he was never going to let the poor circumstances change how he felt about his baby. 

This baby deserved to be showered with love, and Sam was going to do just that. First things first, he needed food. He hadn’t been eating properly lately, he had simply lost his appetite due to the stress and anxiety that he was under. But now that he knew that he was pregnant, he had to be responsible and start eating regularly. For the baby. 

Sam gently rubbed his tummy. And for the first time since Dean had left, Sam smiled.

\--

“Dean sent some money,” Bobby gruffly said while they were having dinner. “I don’t want to know how he earned it, or if it’s even legal, because we could use the extra money right now.”

Sam nodded absentmindedly, his hand went down to his stomach and he discreetly rubbed it. 

“I remember how I used to earn my money as a hunter,” Colton laughed to ease the tension around the kitchen table, “I’ve mopped a lot of floors in shady bars, I’ve stolen copper wire and sold it, and I’ve even walked dogs.”

That made Sam’s head perk up. “You’ve walked dogs?”

“Yeah,” Colton laughed, “I interviewed a guy who worked at a doggie day care once, I was only looking for information for my hunt, but the guy thought that I wanted a job, so he offered me one. A day later I finished my hunt, and I went back to the doggie day care and started working there.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun,” Sam smiled, he had always been an animal lover. He had always pictured himself with a guy, a couple of kids and a large dog that chewed on everything. 

“It was, it was actually the most fun-“Colton stopped mid-sentence and closely studied Sam. “Are you okay kid? You look a little green.” 

“No, no, I’m fine,” Sam said, he had no idea what Colton was talking about. Two seconds later he felt something make its way from his stomach up through his throat again. He immediately dashed for the bathroom. 

Sam was puking his guts out when his father entered the downstairs bathroom. 

Bobby wordlessly grabbed a small towel and soaked it on cold water, and ran it over Sam’s forehead. “I knew we never should’ve let Colton cook,” Bobby muttered. 

At first Sam didn’t know what his father was talking about, then he realized that his father thought that the reason why he had thrown up was nothing more than a case of food poisoning. It wasn’t as simple as that though. Sam knew that he had to tell his father the truth. How else was he supposed to explain the throwing up the next day, and the day after that? He couldn’t exactly suffer from food poisoning for every single day for four weeks or longer. His dad would probably toss poor Colton out of the house if he was that bad of a cook. 

“It’s not food poisoning,” Sam whispered, afraid to speak any louder. 

“Then what-“Bobby stopped talking once he realized what his son was trying to say. “You’re pregnant?!”

Sam nodded. 

“Again?” Bobby said the first word that came to his mind. “You’re nineteen years old Sam,” he pointed out, even though he knew that his son was perfectly aware of his age. But Bobby didn’t care, his teenage son was about to have yet another baby. “You should’ve switched contraceptive after you had Noah, because clearly the one you were taking wasn’t working.”

“We didn’t use any contraceptive,” Sam bit his lip, “We wanted another baby.”

“You what?!” Bobby couldn’t believe his ears. His nineteen-year-old son had actually gotten pregnant by choice. “What were you thinking?!”

“That I love Dean, and we both wanted this. We have a house that’s big enough, and we’re married,” Sam defended himself and the choice that he and Dean had made. 

“Does Dean know?” Bobby asked. 

Sam shook his head. “I took a test this morning.”

“This is…” Bobby paused to rub his temples, “This is just too much.” He had no idea how to handle it. Dean had left to go the most dangerous hunt that he had probably ever been on, Sam was a crying mess, and Noah needed constant care. Bobby already had enough on his plate, he couldn’t deal with the fact that his nineteen-year-old son was pregnant again. 

“I’m happy about this baby dad,” Sam said and placed a protective hand over his tummy. He hadn’t expected his father to understand, but he hadn’t anticipated getting yelled at either. Sure, Sam knew that he was young, but he was married and they had a house. It wasn’t a careless decision to have another baby. 

“I’m just….” Bobby shook his head, “I have to go for a walk, clear my thoughts.”

Sam’s heart broke as he watched his father leave the room. He hoped and prayed that his father would never treat the new baby differently from how he treated Noah. 

If only Dean would come home. 

\--

Sam felt someone shaking him out of his slumber. “What is it?” he drowsily asked while he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Whoever had woken him up turned the lights on, and Sam immediately shielded his eyes from the strong light. 

“It’s Dean,” Bobby said, his lips formed in a tight line, “We have to get to the hospital.”

Hospital. Dean. Those were the two words that Sam never wanted to hear in the same sentence. Sam suddenly felt immobile. He couldn’t move a muscle. 

“They don’t know how bad it is yet, they’re trying to stop the bleeding,” Bobby said and went over to Sam’s dresser and pulled out some clothes for Sam and Noah. “Sam, we need to get a move on!” he said way more harshly than he had intended to. 

Sam nodded and shakily sat up. 

“Colton, we need help in here!” Bobby shouted. 

Colton appeared only a few seconds later. He helped Sam get out of bed, and helped him get somewhat dressed.

The drive to the hospital felt extremely long. No one knew what to say. Sam felt like he was stuck in some nightmare that he still hadn’t woken up from. It had been naïve of him to think that Dean would just show up in one piece after the hunt was over, but truth to be told, Sam had imagined Dean coming through the front door all happy and smiling. Reality wasn’t like that. Reality always had a way of slapping Sam in the face. 

\--

Sam’s feet felt as heavy as cement as he walked through the hospital corridor. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the strong antiseptic air. 

“He’s awake, and he has been asking about you,” a nurse said and opened the door to Dean’s room. 

Sam could barely move, but he forced his legs into action and followed the nurse into Dean’s room. 

Dean was in bed, hooked up to various machines. He had bandages around his arms, stomach, legs, and feet. But he was alive, and he was awake. Their eyes met and Sam instantly forgot that he was supposed to be angry with his husband for leaving him. 

“We’ve given him something for the pain, so he might be a little groggy,” the nurse warned.

Dean coughed something and held out his hand towards Sam. 

“Can I touch him?” Sam asked, he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his husband and hug him for all that he’s worth.

“Yes, you can. Just be careful,” the nurse answered before she left the room.

Sam’s legs wobbled as he walked over to Dean’s bed. “Dean,” he cried and grabbed his husband’s hand. 

“Hey Sammy,” Dean said in a raspy voice. 

“Oh my god, you’re here, you’re alive,” Sam cried and bent down and was just about to kiss Dean, but then he stopped himself. Dean had a dark coloured bruise over one side of his face, a split lip, and his hair was matted down with dried blood. Sam was scared that the slightest touch would cause pain to Dean. 

“C’mere,” Dean coughed and tried to pull Sam closer. 

“Dean, I don’t wanna hurt you,” Sam bit his lip. He wanted nothing more than to hold Dean and kiss him. 

Dean tugged Sam closer. “C’mere,” he said again. 

Sam carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. “God, Dean,” his voice broke as he carefully stroked Dean’s cheek. “What were you thinking?” he hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t want Dean to feel guilty, not now. Right now, Sam just wanted to shower Dean with love. Guilt could wait. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean apologized and placed his hand on top of Sam’s. 

“I love you so much, and you said you were never going to leave me,” Sam cried, even though he didn’t want Dean to feel guilty, but Sam couldn’t help it. He had gone through hell during the past two weeks without Dean. 

“I’m sorry Sammy,” Dean rasped out. 

Sam leaned down and placed a number of gentle kisses on Dean’s temples, the bridge of his nose and lastly on his lips. He needed to touch Dean, needed to kiss him. 

“I love you too Sammy,” Dean whispered. “Where is Noah?”

“He’s in the waiting room with my dad,” Sam said. 

“It’s probably best that,” Dean let out a cough, “that he doesn’t see me right now.”

“He has missed you,” Sam carefully lifted Dean’s hand to his lips and kissed Dean’s injured knuckles. “He’s been asking about his Dada.” Sam tried his best not to flinch when he felt the coppery taste of Dean’s blood in his mouth. 

Dean smiled. “I’ve missed you guys too. So much.”

Sam noticed that Dean’s eyelids started to droop. “Sleep Dean, I’ll be here when you wake up,” Sam murmured and stroked Dean’s cheek tenderly. 

\--

“How is he?” was the first thing that Bobby asked once Sam came into the waiting room. 

Sam couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. “He has several injuries, but they’ll heal, he’ll heal,” he said, and he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Bobby let out a sigh in relief. If things had been looking really bad, then Bobby wouldn’t know what to do. How to comfort Sam. 

“I have to get back in there,” Sam said, “Dean’s asleep, and I promised that I’d be there once he wakes up.”

“Okay,” Bobby said and pulled Sam in for a hug, mindful of Noah on his other arm. “I’ll take Noah home with me.”

Sam nodded, and pressed a kiss to Noah’s forehead. “Bye Buddy, Daddy and Dada love you so, so much,” he murmured into Noah’s soft hair. 

“Bye Sam,” Bobby squeezed his son’s shoulder before he left. 

\--

Dean woke up with a start. He had no idea where he was, and when he tried to move he couldn’t move his limbs. His throat was parched and when he tried to scream barely any sound came out. 

But the tiny sounds that he produced were enough to wake up Sam. 

“Dean, it’s okay,” Sam fumbled in the dark for the light switch. When he found it he flipped it and the lamp on the bedside table lit up almost the entire room. 

“My dad, I have to get my dad, he’s hurt,” Dean panicked and struggled to get out of bed. 

Sam held down his husband. “Your dad is recovering. He’s in a different hospital, but he’s fine.”

The nurses had informed Sam that John Winchester was badly hurt, but his condition was stable. He’d need months of physical therapy, but the doctors had been fairly sure that he’d fully recover from his injuries. 

“I left him in the hospital,” Dean was still struggling to get up, but Sam’s firm hands held him down. “I left him there, I shouldn’t have left him there.”

“Dean, please stop moving, I don’t want to hurt you,” Sam pleaded. 

“But I had to make sure Cody was okay,” Dean continued, “Where is Cody?” he immediately panicked when he didn’t know where his friend was. 

Sam bit his lip, he wished that he knew the answer, but truth to be told he had no idea where Cody and the rest of the hunters were. 

“Where is he?!” Dean shouted hysterically. 

“Please Dean,” Sam begged Dean not to struggle. 

“Zach has two kids and a wife, I promised them I’d send him home in one piece,” Dean cried. 

“Just please stay here, and I’ll go and find someone and ask them where Cody and Zach might be,” Sam said and cautiously let go of Dean.

“They have to be okay,” Dean said, his eyes were brimming with tears.

Sam swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’ll go ask one of the nurses.”

\--

Sam let out a loud sigh and flopped down on one of the hard plastic chairs in the waiting room. He needed a moment to himself before he broke the news to Dean. Sam knew that Dean would bombard him with questions he couldn’t answer. At least not yet. Sam hadn’t gotten much information out of the nurses. All he knew was that John Winchester had been dropped off at the hospital by two men in their mid-twenties. But no-one knew whether or not those two men were fine or where they were at the moment. And no-one knew how the Winchesters had ended up in two different hospitals. 

It was with heavy steps that Sam walked back to Dean’s room. 

Dean was half sitting up in bed when Sam entered the room. 

“Are they okay?” Dean asked. 

Sam didn’t know how to respond to that question without upsetting Dean. 

“I have to get out of here,” Dean said. Sam’s silence couldn’t be a good thing. 

“No, no, please don’t do that,” Sam pleaded when he noticed that Dean started to pull on his IV. 

“I can’t stay here Sam!” Dean yelled. “I promised Zach’s wife that I’d bring her husband home.”

Unsure of what else to do, Sam pressed the nurse call button next to Dean’s bed. 

A nurse showed up only seconds later, and she handled the situation. Another nurse came in, and Sam was ushered aside. 

It pained Sam to watch as two nurses had to hold Dean down and one of the nurses gave Dean a sedative to calm him down. Dean struggled for a little while longer, until the sedative hit him with full force, and he couldn’t move a muscle. 

One of the nurses turned to Sam. “You should go home, get some sleep. He’s going to be out of it for a while.”

Sam shook his head. He didn’t want to leave Dean. 

\--

One of the nurses felt sorry for Sam, so she made sure he got a bed to sleep in. 

Sam appreciated the gesture, but it didn’t matter whether he had a bed or a plastic chair, he still couldn’t sleep. As he laid there in the darkness, he lifted up his shirt and stroked his belly. He couldn’t be more than four weeks along, so naturally there were no physical changes yet, his belly was still flat. 

Dean was sleeping soundly in his bed. Even though this pregnancy had been planned, Sam didn’t know how to tell his husband that he was pregnant. Truth to be told, Sam was still angry with Dean for leaving. Dean had promised that he’d quit hunting for good, and he had broken that promise. 

But most of all, Sam was scared that Dean would leave again. ‘If he can leave you once, he can leave you twice’, a stupid voice in Sam’s head said. Dean had said that he would stop hunting. He had claimed that Sam and Noah were more important to him. But after everything that had happened, Sam couldn’t help but wonder if Dean had really thought through his decision to quit hunting. Maybe working at an auto shop, and raising a family wasn’t for Dean. 

Tears ran down Sam’s cheeks as he rubbed small circles on his belly. 

\--

Dean woke up with a headache from hell. His head was literally pounding, and his whole body felt as heavy as cement. It was a struggle just to turn his head to the side. “Sam?” he managed to rasp out. 

“I’m here,” came Sam’s voice from the other side of the room. Seconds later, Sam appeared at Dean’s bedside. 

Dean immediately felt extremely remorseful once he saw the state Sam was in. Sam had dark circles underneath his eyes, his skin looked pale and his eyes looked so hollow. Dean wanted to apologize, but he didn’t even know where to start. Nothing he’d say could ever make up for the fact that he had betrayed both his husband and his son. 

“Do you want some water?” Sam asked and picked up a bottle of water from Dean’s bedside table. 

Dean could only nod. Sam unscrewed the cork and helped Dean take a couple of sips. 

“Thanks,” Dean said quietly. 

Sam just nodded, and looked down, like he couldn’t bear to look Dean in the eyes. It was painful for Dean to watch. 

“I have to call my dad, and ask how Noah’s doing,” Sam mumbled and was just about to leave when Dean caught his arm. 

“Sam, you can leave,” Dean said. Sam shouldn’t have to stay at the hospital. Dean had brought this mess upon himself, it didn’t feel right to drag Sam down with him. 

Sam blinked in confusion. “You,” he inhaled sharply, “You want me to leave?” Sam couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dean had been gone on a dangerous hunt for over two weeks, Sam had been worried sick. And now, Dean wanted him to leave. 

Wrong thing to say, Dean realized once he saw the flash of pain in Sam’s eyes. “No, I don’t want you to leave. I’m just worried about you. S’ all.”

“You’re worried about me?” Sam shook his head. “You’re the one who’s hurt, not me,” he reminded his husband. 

“Sam, I can tell that you’re not feeling so good,” Dean stated. 

“Of course I’m not feeling good,” Sam was shaking with anger, “My husband left me and our son to go on what must’ve been the most dangerous hunt ever. Even though he promised me that he was done hunting.”

Dean let go of Sam’s arm. “Tell Noah I love him,” he said quietly. 

Sam gave Dean a quick nod before he left the room. 

\--

Dean was surprised to see that Sam came back only a couple of minutes later. After everything that Sam had said before he had left the room, Dean had been certain that Sam would leave the hospital, and Dean wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. 

“You’re back,” Dean said. 

“Yeah, well, we are married. I’ve promised to be there for you, for better and for worse,” Sam swallowed past the lump in his throat. Despite all the anger that he felt towards Dean, Sam couldn’t bring himself to leave. Truth was that Sam still loved Dean with all his heart, that hadn’t changed. That would probably never change. 

“How was Noah?” Dean asked. 

“He was fine, he has been asking about us though,” Sam said, “My dad said that it had taken a long time for Noah to go to sleep.”

Dean felt a pang of guilt. Noah was only fifteen months old. Too young to be away from his parents. “You should go home,” Dean told Sam. 

“I will go home and check on him,” Sam nodded in agreement, “later.”

Dean took a deep breath before he looked up at Sam. “Sam, could you please sit down?” he asked and patted an empty space on his bed. 

Sam seemed to hesitate, so Dean added another ‘please’. 

“Fine,” Sam complied and sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed. 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Dean admitted in a low whisper, “I don’t even know how to apologize for what I’ve done to you.”

“Is it going to happen again?” Sam asked. He didn’t think he’d be able to suffer through this again. 

“No, no,” Dean quickly assured his husband. 

“How do I know that?” Sam desperately cried. 

“Because we finished this hunt,” Dean said, “We’ve killed it. We got our revenge. It’s over.” It was something Dean had been waiting for seventeen years to say, but now that he had said it, it didn’t feel as good as he hoped it would. 

“I hoped it was worth it,” Sam replied. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Dean mumbled, and he could feel tears starting to form in his eyes. “Have you ever read the story of little Red riding hood?” his voice was thick with emotion. 

“Uhm, yeah,” Sam said and frowned in confusion, “A couple of times or so as a kid.”

“Do you remember how it ends?” Dean asked, the tears were streaming down his cheeks now. 

“The hunter cuts the wolf’s stomach open, and…” Sam suddenly realized where Dean was going. “The grandmother and Little Red Riding Hood jump out, both alive and fine,” Sam whispered. 

“Yeah,” Dean let out a humourless laugh, “Turns out that doesn’t happen in reality, because I didn’t get her back even though I killed the monster,” Dean’s voice broke. 

“Dean,” Sam’s heart went out for his husband. It pained him to see his husband this hurt. “I’m sorry Dean,” Sam leaned down and carefully put his arms around his husband. “If there’s anything I can do to make you feel better, then tell me. Tell me what you need,” Sam whispered into the hollow of Dean’s throat. 

“You’re already doing it,” Dean stroked Sam’s back. “Don’t let go of me,” he begged, and he didn’t even care about how needy he sounded. 

“I won’t,” Sam promised. 

“I love you so much Sammy,” Dean cried. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Shh,” Sam comforted his husband. “It’s okay.”

Dean shook his head. “No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have put you through that. But she’s my mom. I couldn’t let that thing live after what he had done to her. And I couldn’t let my dad go off on this hunt without me. He would’ve gotten himself killed. And I can’t lose my dad too.”

“Dean, I get it,” Sam kissed Dean’s tear-stained cheeks. “I’m not angry with you. I’m just scared,” he admitted. 

“What are you scared for?” Dean asked. 

“I’m scared that me and Noah, that we’re not enough,” Sam confessed, “I’m scared that you’re not happy with your nine-to-five job and that you miss the adrenaline rush you get from hunting, I’m scared that-“

Dean placed a finger over Sam’s lips. “Stop,” he begged his husband to stop talking. “This hunt had nothing to do with that. I promise you that.”

“Are you happy with being married to me and raising a family with me?” Sam’s bottom lip quivered. 

Dean looked right into Sam’s eyes. “You and Noah mean everything to me. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Sam nodded and leaned down to kiss Dean. 

“I mean it,” Dean grasped Sam’s chin, “Don’t you ever think, not for a second, that I don’t want to be with you, because being with you is amazing Sammy. You are the most amazing, kind and loving person that I’ve ever met. Nothing makes me more proud than to be your husband and Noah’s father.”

Sam leaned his forehead against Dean’s. “Don’t ever leave me again,” Sam whispered. 

“I’m not going to,” Dean promised. 

Someone knocked at the door, and both Dean and Sam turned their heads towards the door. 

The door opened and a nurse entered. “You’ll be happy to hear that we’ve managed to get a hold of your father and your friends. They are all alive. Your dad is badly injured, but he’s stable. Your friend Zach is also badly injured, but stable,” the nurse informed them. 

Both Dean and Sam breathed out in relief. 

“Thank you so much,” Dean said through the tears. They had all made it.

“I’ll give you two another minute before I come back to change your bandages, and take a closer look at your wounds,” the nurse said before she left. 

Sam leaned down and placed a kiss on Dean’s forehead. 

“I wished that we had never gone on this hunt,” Dean admitted. “It didn't bring her back.”

Sam caressed Dean’s cheek. “I can’t give you your mother back. But I can give you something else,” he picked up Dean’s hand and guided it to his stomach. 

Dean looked up at Sam. “You’re pregnant?” 

Sam nodded. “Yeah, we’re having another baby.” He hoped that the timing was right to break the news. 

“We’re having another baby?” Dean laughed, and cried all at the same time. He pulled up Sam’s shirt and rubbed Sam’s tummy. 

Sam smiled through the tears. The timing had been perfect. 

“You’re giving me another baby?” Dean couldn’t believe it. His heart was about to burst from all the love and happiness that he felt. He wanted to pepper Sam’s stomach with kisses, but he couldn’t sit up. Thankfully, Sam understood what Dean wanted to do, so Sam moved so that he was leaning over Dean with his stomach right in front of Dean’s face. Dean kissed every part of Sam’s tummy. 

They laughed and they cried tears out of happiness. 

Dean placed his hand on Sam’s tummy, and Sam placed his own hand on top of Dean’s. 

“I can’t wait until you start showing,” Dean smiled. “You looked so beautiful when you were pregnant with Noah. I must’ve looked through that photo album that you gave over a hundred times.”

Sam couldn’t stop smiling, he didn’t want to stop. 

“Hey you in there,” Dean talked to their unborn baby, “I’m your Dada, and I’m going to feed your other Daddy tons of food. I might not be the best cook, but I promise you that I’m going to do better for you. But if there’s anything you don’t like, let me know, and I’ll never serve it again.”

Sam let out a laugh. “I’ll have to teach you how to make an apple pie, this is your kid after all. I’ll probably start craving pie any time now.”

“Atta boy or girl,” Dean patted Sam’s tummy. 

Sam leaned down and captured Dean’s lips in a kiss. 

They were going to be more than fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean hasn't been himself lately. Sam worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated this sooner. To be honest I haven't been able to decide which direction I'm going to take this story (or timestamp). I've decided to add more drama, rather than fluff. Fluff can always come later (so don't worry).

“Dean, are you sure about this?” Sam’s fingers trembled as he nervously fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Dean had been recovering just fine over the past three weeks. But Sam had still protested when Dean had announced that he needed to get back to work only two days ago. There were a few deeper wounds that still hadn’t healed properly just yet, and Sam didn’t think that Dean was ready for manual labor just yet. 

But they were running low on money, and Sam knew that Dean felt pressured to change that. Dean had been hunting for three weeks, and then spent another three weeks recovering from the aftermath of the hunt. That meant six weeks without income. Sam had done some administrative work in the evenings, from his own home. Bobby had never been a big fan of organizing and paperwork, so he mostly left that stuff to Sam. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to pay the bills. 

“I can work, and you can stay at home with Noah instead,” Sam suggested, even though he knew deep down that Dean would never agree to something like that. 

“You think I’d let my pregnant husband work at an auto shop?” Dean snorted as he pulled on his blue overalls for work. 

“I can take another job,” Sam sighed, “I heard they’re hiring at the supermarket.”

“You think you’ll earn enough money by bagging groceries at the local supermarket to pay all of our bills?” Dean shook his head. 

“I’m just worried about you, I-“

“Look, I have to get going,” Dean cut Sam off.

“And I’m just supposed to let you go?” Sam asked.

“We’re in this mess because of me, and it’s my job to fix it,” Dean said.

“Your doctor can’t approve of this,” Sam said, and braced himself for the argument that was about to come. Lately, even the smallest things had set Dean off. After every argument, Dean always pulled Sam in for a hug and apologized profusely, and Sam forgave his husband. Every. Single. Time. Even though Dean’s apologies were never enough to make the pain in Sam’s heart go away. 

Sam barely recognized his husband sometimes. Dean had the most unpredictable mood changes. One minute he’d be hugging Sam and telling him how much he loved him, the next minute Dean would be telling Sam to back of and leave him the hell alone. 

The argument that Sam had expected didn’t come. Instead Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam’s face. 

“I promise not to overdo it. I’ll take it easy, and I’ll stop if anything hurts,” Dean looked Sam in the eyes. 

Sam nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. 

Dean gave Sam a quick peck on the lips before he left. 

Thankfully, Noah woke up only minutes later. Being preoccupied with something helped Sam immensely. He knew that if he didn’t have anything to do, he’d just worry about Dean. 

\--

When Dean got back from work eight hours later, Sam almost dropped the plate that he was drying. Sam silently wondered when his husband’s presence had started to make him nervous. 

Dean greeted Sam with a kiss, but that was it. He didn’t tell Sam about his day or anything. 

“How did it go?” Sam tried to act casual. 

“Good,” Dean replied. 

Sam didn’t want to push it, but he needed a better answer than just ‘good’. He wondered whether he should call his dad and ask, but he was scared that his father would ask questions that he couldn’t answer. Questions like why Sam couldn’t just talk to his own husband. 

“Sam?” Dean asked impatiently. 

“What?” Sam snapped out of his thoughts. 

“I asked you if you needed help with dinner,” Dean asked. 

“Oh, no,” Sam shook his head, “I’ve already made dinner. Your plate is in the oven.”

“Great,” Dean tried to offer Sam a smile, but it looked strained. “I’ll just take a quick shower before I eat.”

“Dean, are you really okay?” Sam asked apprehensively. 

“I’m fine,” Dean said, but he didn’t look Sam in the eyes. 

“Are you sure, because you look-“

“I said I’m fine,” Dean snapped. “Stop worrying.”

Sam leaned back against the counter. Dean left the kitchen, and a minute later, Sam heard the shower running in the bathroom. 

“Because you look like you’re in pain,” Sam finished his sentence in a whisper. 

\--

Dean gripped the edges of the bathroom sink with both of his hands, and leaned all the way down until his forehead was resting against the cool porcelain. He knew that he had to apologize to Sam later. Sam had been right, Dean wasn’t okay, far from it. Not that Dean would ever admit that to Sam. 

Deep down Dean knew that Sam could see right through him. Dean wasn’t fine, and Sam knew that. Although Dean was pretty sure that Sam didn’t know how bad it was, and Dean wanted to keep it that way. 

Dean tried to breathe through the pain, but it wasn’t working. He involuntarily let out a pained groan and hoped that the sound of the shower running would mask the sound that he had just made. He unbuttoned his shirt and noticed that one of his wounds had started to bleed again, just as he had expected. Thankfully, he had stashed away a first aid kit in the bathroom in-between the bathroom tub and the washing machine. He pulled out a needle and a thread from the first aid kit and tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to do. 

“You’ve done this before,” Dean reminded himself before he started to stich himself up. 

Beads of sweat were running down his face, and his hands trembled so badly that he had to take a break, otherwise, he would’ve just messed it up. “Focus,” he sternly told himself. His chest hurt as fuck, and he bit his knuckles to keep himself from screaming out loud from the pain. 

“Dean, are you okay in there?” came Sam’s voice from the other side of the door. 

‘Don’t yell at him, he’ll leave you if you continue to treat him like shit’ a voice in Dean’s head said. 

“I’m fine,” Dean tried his best to keep his voice even. 

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “You’ve been in there for a while now, and-“

“Why can’t you just let me take a shower?!” Dean lost control and snapped. “Fuck,” he whispered. He hadn’t meant to yell at Sam like that. But it felt like his chest was burning up, and the bleeding from his wound hadn’t stopped, and his hand were shaking and he couldn’t fucking finish a few simple stiches, let alone treat his husband with respect. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam said in a low voice. 

‘No, I’m the one who’s sorry’, Dean thought. 

\--

Sam was watching TV in the living room when Dean emerged from the bathroom. Sam’s eyes were glassy, and Dean could tell that his husband had been crying. 

The pain that Dean had felt in the bathroom was nothing compared to how it felt to see Sam hurt. “Sam, I’m sorry,” Dean apologized and sat down next to Sam on the couch. 

Sam wordlessly stared at the screen, but Dean saw the blank stare in Sam’s eyes, and he knew that Sam wasn’t really paying any attention to the show that was playing on the screen. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean repeated and cautiously pulled in Sam for a hug, he could feel Sam’s body stiffen up at first, but after a while Sam’s body finally started to relax a little. “It’s been a long day at work,” Dean rubbed circles on Sam’s back. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either. “I love you Sammy,” Dean pressed a kiss to Sam’s temple. Dean never would’ve thought that he’d ever use that sentence to get his husband to forgive him. ‘I love you’ wasn’t a sentence meant to be used as a way to get someone to forgive you. But Dean didn’t know what else to say. 

“Is our marriage falling apart?” Sam asked in a small voice. 

“No, it’s not,” Dean immediately replied. Sam’s question felt like a stab through Dean’s heart. Dean loved his family with all of his heart. His family was not falling apart. No. 

“But all we do is fight. You don’t talk to me anymore. I barely recognize you Dean. You’re always angry with me,” Sam didn’t even bother to hold back the tears any longer. 

“I’m not angry with you Sammy,” Dean’s heart broke. “I’m not angry, I promise,” Dean gently kissed Sam’s tears-stained cheeks. 

“We have a son, and another baby on the way,” Sam cried. He wanted to raise his kids in a loving home, and lately their home hadn’t felt so loving. 

“I know,” Dean whispered. “I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve put you through.”

“You have to talk to me,” Sam begged. “Tell me what’s wrong, so that I can help you.”

Dean wordlessly pulled Sam closer to his body. There was no way Dean could tell Sam the truth about the pain he felt, or how some of his wounds had started to bleed again. They needed the money. Just a week ago, Dean had been trying to buy some groceries and his credit card had been declined. Dean had been forced to call his dad and ask him to wire some money. John Winchester was far from rich, and Dean knew that he couldn’t ask his father for any more money. Dean was on his own. 

“Dean, please,” Sam pressed. 

“I love you so much Sammy, I’ll never yell at you again, I promise I’ll treat you better,” Dean murmured. 

“I just want to help you,” Sam said. 

Dean leaned forward until his and Sam’s foreheads were touching. “I know you do,” Dean admitted. 

Sam could feel Dean’s hot breath on his face. A part of him wanted to yell at Dean, demand answers, but there was also another part of him that just wanted to be held by Dean. 

Dean lifted up Sam’s shirt and leaned down and gently kissed Sam’s tummy, just below the belly button. He wanted to focus on the good things in his life. “My little baby,” Dean whispered. “I think you’re starting to show,” he whispered in awe and looked up at Sam. 

“Yeah, I think so too,” Sam smiled. “My jeans feel a bit tighter,” he said and carded his fingers through Dean’s spiky yet soft hair. 

“Do you still have your old maternity clothes from when you were pregnant with Noah?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, they should be in a closet in my dad’s house,” Sam nodded. 

Good, Dean thought. One less thing to worry about. Right now they needed to cut down on as many things as possible. Anything to save money. 

\--

Sam didn’t say anything the next morning when Dean was getting ready for work. Wordlessly he prepared Dean’s lunch box and left it on the kitchen counter so that Dean could just grab it before he’d leave. 

“Bye Noah,” Dean kissed Noah’s cheeks. 

Noah giggled as his father peppered his cheeks with kisses. If only saying goodbye to Sam was just as easy. Dean cautiously pulled in Sam for a kiss, and felt relieved when Sam didn’t protest. “Have a good day,” Dean said and rubbed Sam’s tummy. 

“You too,” Sam said quietly. 

This was what their marriage had been reduced to. They were either barely speaking to each other at all, or they were speaking too much, too loudly, too angrily. 

Sam felt like he was walking on eggshells. Afraid to say anything that would set Dean off. 

Noah was happily playing with a few toys that he had strewn out on the floor. Sam’s hands went down to his stomach. Noah and the new baby were both reminders of happier times. Back when Sam and Dean’s relationship hadn’t been so strained. Sam wanted nothing more than to experience that happiness with Dean again. 

\--

“How are you feeling son?” Bobby asked when they were sitting down for lunch at work. 

Dean nodded politely. “Good Sir.”

Bobby waved his hand. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”

Dean offered a tight-lined smile. He had already checked on his wounds, and so far there was no bleeding, he was, however, in pain. 

“Haven’t had much chance to talk to you lately,” Bobby said. “I don’t know if Sam told you, but when he said that he was pregnant I didn’t exactly take the news well. I’m not proud of how I handled things.”

“I’m sure he knows you’re just worried,” Dean tried to be diplomatic. “Most parents would probably react in the same way if they found out that their teenager was expecting again.”

“I knew Sam wanted more kids, I just didn’t expect him to get pregnant again so soon,” Bobby explained. “But if this is what you both want, then I’ll just have to accept it. And I will love my second grandbaby just as much as I love my first,” he assured Dean. 

Dean smiled. “Thank you. It still feels so surreal sometimes. I’m glad I get to be a part of this pregnancy.” 

Bobby squeezed Dean’s shoulder. “Take care of my son.”

Dean nodded. “I promise.” It was a promise that he intended to keep. Things would have to change. He’d have to start treating Sam better. 

\--

Dean was exhausted when he got back home from work. When Noah came barrelling towards him, Dean didn’t even have the energy to pick him up. Instead he just crouched down and pulled him in for a hug. 

“Dinner’s in the oven,” Sam announced. 

Dean kissed Noah on the nose, before he carefully stood up. “How was your day?” he asked Sam. “What did you and Noah do?”

The surprised look on Sam’s face pretty much said it all. Dean hadn’t asked Sam something like that in a long time. Dean felt like an asshole. But he had promised to get better, and this was him trying to make amends. 

“Uhm, we went outside for a walk. Visited Katie at the diner,” Sam smiled. 

“And how’s the morning sickness?” Dean asked and placed a hand over Sam’s tummy. 

“I threw up once earlier today, but that was it,” Sam replied. 

“Good,” Dean smiled back and pecked his husband on the lips. “Cody called while I was at work. He’s in town, and he’s staying at the motel.” Dean could feel how tense Sam’s body became at the mention of Cody. “I was thinking of visiting him.”

“Why don’t you invite him over?” Sam asked. 

“I haven’t exactly talked to anyone about the last hunt. So I figured that I could talk to Cody, and I don’t think you should hear that,” Dean said. It was all so easy. Lying to Sam that was. Cody wasn’t exactly in town, but he was staying at a motel nearby. Dean had been the one to call Cody. Dean needed something, and he was hoping that his friend could help with that. 

Sam looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he just shook his head. “Okay, tell him I said hi.”

\--

“How have you been man?” Cody asked as he engulfed Dean in a hug. He had been waiting for Dean outside the motel for the past ten minutes. 

“Let’s go inside,” Dean said and looked around. The motel was just an hour outside of Jacksville, but you never knew just who you might run into. Dean didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing the conversation that he was about to have with Cody. 

“Yeah, sure, I’m in room number twelve,” Cody said and handed over the keys to Dean. “I’ll just go and buy us something from the vending machine.”

\--

“So how’s it been?” Cody asked and took a seat opposite Dean. 

“That’s a long story, we'll save that for later,” Dean said, “I wanna know how you’ve been.”

“Everything’s healed up nicely. I’m back to working again,” Cody took a sip from his coffee. “Heard your dad went back to hunting again. What happened to his retirement plan?” Cody chuckled.

Dean snorted. John Winchester had always said that once he had gotten his revenge, he’d retire from hunting. Of course everyone else knew that that was just bullshit. Hunting was in John Winchester’s blood. 

“Not that I don’t appreciate you stopping by,” Cody said, “But what’s up? You sounded pretty desperate on the phone.”

“I need you help Cody,” Dean admitted. 

“Anything,” Cody said.

“I need something to help me relax,” Dean knew that he was rather vague, but he was hoping that Cody would take the hint. 

“Like what?” Cody frowned. “Marijuana? You wanna smoke weed when you have a baby to take care of?” 

“Fuck, no,” Dean exclaimed. “A couple of years ago you took some pills that helped you take the edge off. I need something like that.”

After a difficult hunt two years ago, Cody had suffered from anxiety and nightmares for a while. During that time, he had taken some pills for anxiety and they had helped. Dean was hoping those pills would do the same for him. 

“I don’t know man,” Cody sighed. “Why can’t you just go to the doctor?”

“Because I told my doctor that I’m fine, if I hadn't, he never would've let me go back to work. Bobby won’t let me work unless my doctor approves,” Dean explained. 

“Fine,” Cody reluctantly agreed. 

“I also need something stronger than aspirin for the pain,” Dean said. 

“I don’t know about this,” Cody confessed. He wasn’t sure what pills you could mix. 

“We’re almost broke, I’m yelling at my husband and I’m in fucking pain,” Dean said through gritted teeth, “I need you to do this for me.”

“It’ll take a couple of days before I can get a hold of the right person, but I’ll call you once I have everything,” Cody promised. 

“Thanks,” Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry for, you know, snapping at you like that.”

“Do you treat Sam like this too?” Cody asked.

“That’s why I need the pills, I want to treat him better,” Dean rubbed his temples. 

\--

As promised, Cody called two days later, and said that he had everything that Dean needed. Dean didn’t waste any time, he drove straight to the motel where Cody was staying at. 

“I’ve talked to Anne, she’s not happy about this, but she says that you can take these two pills together,” Cody said and handed over a paper bag to Dean. 

Dean nodded. Anne had been a nurse for a long time, and she knew what she was doing. 

“If you have some side effects, you need to quit using them,” Cody warned. 

“Thanks,” Dean said and looked inside the paper bag. From now on everything would get better. His marriage would no longer be falling apart.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to start off by saying that I'm sorry, I've written an insanely long chapter, and I hope that it makes up for the fact that I haven't updated in a long time. 
> 
> Now, onto the chapter, lots of angst, and lots of making up. The boys still love each other a lot, but the lack of money is taking its toll on their marriage. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think of this chapter.

Dean stared at the two pills in the palm of his hand before he swallowed them with a glass of water. They were his only hope. A couple of pills were going to save his marriage and solve his financial problems. Everything that Dean had worked hard for were now hanging on a loose thread, and he didn’t know how to fix the mess that he had made. 

Three days had passed since he took the first pills, and since then he had noticed that not only had his pain lessened, his short temper wasn’t as bad as it used to be. He no longer snapped at Sam, and that was the best part of it all. It motivated Dean to keep taking the pills. He wanted to be the kind of husband that Sammy deserved. Sam was an amazing person, and he deserved the world. 

Dean winced when the bright kitchen lamp was switched on. A side effect from the pills. Bright lights stung his eyes. He put his glass down on the counter. 

“What are you doing up?” came Sam’s voice from behind. 

Dean had to hold onto the kitchen counter as he slowly turned around. Another side effect – vertigo. He couldn’t make any sudden movements without feeling dizzy. Sam stood in the doorway to their kitchen, and he looked so small and fragile, despite his 6 ft 4 frame. Dean put on his best smile to calm Sammy down. “I was thirsty,” he lied. He wanted to smack himself for being so stupid. He should’ve just locked himself in the bathroom and taken the pills there, not out in the open in their kitchen. Damn it. 

“Oh,” Sam said and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. 

“Let’s go back to bed,” Dean said softly. 

“Dean, are you okay?” 

Dean could hear the fear in Sam’s voice. It was like Sam was afraid to ask that question. Dean knew that he had put Sam through a lot, but now he knew just how much pain he had caused Sam. Sam was afraid of talking to his own husband. Dean had done that. Dean had made his own husband afraid of him. 

“I’m fine Sammy,” Dean quickly assured Sam. “I was thirsty, but what’s your excuse for being down here and not upstairs sleeping?” Dean tried to keep the tone light, but there was a part of him, the paranoid part of him, that couldn’t help but wonder if Sam was following him. 

Sam shrugged. “I woke up and you weren’t there,” he simply answered. 

Dean walked up to Sam, and put his arms around him. “Come on, let’s go back to bed,” Dean murmured and pressed a kiss to Sam’s temple. Thankfully, Sam just took Dean’s hand without a word and they walked hand in hand to their bedroom. 

They climbed into bed and Dean curled up behind Sam, and gently rubbed Sam’s baby bump. Sam’s bump wasn’t that big yet, it could still be mistaken for a little weight gain, but Dean loved it. He had been waiting for Sam to start showing. 

Sam shivered a little. “You’ve got cold hands,” he quietly said. 

Another side effect. Dean’s hands had always been warm. “It must’ve been from holding a glass of cold water,” Dean lied. He had lost count on how many times he had lied to Sam lately. 

“I’ll warm you up,” Sam said and took Dean’s hand in his and blew some hot air on it. 

“Thank you,” Dean murmured and kissed the nape of Sam’s neck. 

They said good night to each other, and Dean continued to rub Sam’s baby bump. It didn’t take long for Sam to fall asleep. Dean, on the other hand, stayed awake for an hour. His insomnia wasn’t a side effect from the pills. It was guilt eating him up from the inside. 

\--

“Hey Sam,” Katie lit up when Sam entered the diner. “And hello to you my little Noah,” Katie gushed when she noticed that Sam had brought along Noah with him. “I’ll be right with you in a second, I’ll just have to go and make some more coffee,” she excused herself, but motioned for Sam to sit down. 

Sam took a seat at his usual table and since Noah was a little extra clingy, Sam didn’t even bother to put him in a high chair. Noah would probably start crying if Sam let go of him. “My little spider monkey,” Sam murmured as he rubbed Noah’s back. Noah rested his head against Sam’s shoulder. It was nice, unfortunately Sam knew that the moment wouldn’t last for very long. Lately, Noah had been very fussy. He was clingy, cried more often and his usually calm demeanour was gone. It was as if he could sense the tense mood in their household. 

It had been naïve of Sam to think that Noah was too young to understand what was going on. Clearly that had been a mistake. Noah was smarter than Sam would’ve thought. Thankfully things were finally starting to get better. Dean had calmed down a lot in the past few days. 

Sam couldn’t help but smile as he remembered how Dean had rubbed his baby bump last night. Moments like that made Sam’s heart swell. They hadn’t had many moments like that lately, but it seemed like that was about to change. 

“So what can I get you?” Katie’s voice broke Sam out of his thoughts.

“Uhm, nothing, I’m fine thanks. I just came to see you,” he said since he didn’t have enough money to buy anything. 

“Sam, I’m not going to charge you for it,” Katie, the mind-reader, said. 

About a week ago, Sam had confessed to Katie that they were struggling financially. “I’m fine, really,” he said and bit his lip. It wasn’t like he was starving. He had eaten before he had left the house. He just didn’t have money to spend on luxuries such as a cup of hot cocoa. 

“I’ll add some whip cream and marshmallows,” Katie winked.

Sam half-smiled. It was nice of Katie to give him free stuff, but Sam couldn’t help but feel like he was taking advantage of their friendship. 

Katie returned a few seconds later with a steaming mug of hot cocoa. “So how is my baby today?” she gushed and picked up Noah. 

“He’s fine,” Sam said, maybe a little too quickly. 

“Sam,” Katie sighed. “Are things still, you know, weird between you and Dean?” 

“It’s looking up,” Sam replied. “These past few days have been better.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “Are you sure Dean is not the pregnant one? With all those mood swings that he has got, you’d think he’s knocked up.”

Sam laughed at that. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure the baby is inside me, and not him,” he patted his slightly distended stomach. 

“Speaking of baby, when is the ultrasound?” Katie asked.

“Tomorrow actually,” Sam blew on his cocoa. He was excited to say the least. Technically it was his second ultrasound, his first one had been when Dean had been in the hospital, injured after the hunt. Sam had no other choice but to go alone to his first ultrasound appointment. Noah’s pregnancy hadn’t been detected until Sam was already sixteen weeks along, so Sam had never done an internal ultrasound, which is the equivalent of a transvaginal ultrasound for women. Needless to say, Sam had been shocked when Dr Lawrence had asked him to undress from the waist and down. 

Fortunately, Dr Lawrence had been really good at calming Sam down, and the procedure had gone really well. Sam hadn’t been able to see much on the screen, but Dr Lawrence had assured him that everything had looked good. 

Now that he was ten, almost eleven, weeks along, they’d be doing a regular ultrasound. And for the first time ever, Sam wouldn’t have to go to the appointment alone. Dean had already asked if he could have the morning off. 

“I want pictures,” Katie reminded him. 

“I’ll ask for copies,” Sam promised. It was nice to have people who were excited about the new baby. Sam had felt so lonely during his pregnancy with Noah. 

Sam chatted with Katie for another hour until the diner started to fill up, and Katie had to get back to work. 

Just as Sam was about to leave the diner, Janet, the owner, stopped him. “Sam, I want you to have these,” she said and handed over about six or seven Styrofoam containers filled with hot food. 

Sam was confused to say the least. 

“Katie mentioned that you’re going through some tough times,” Janet lowered her voice so the other guests wouldn’t hear. 

Sam bit his lip, he had thought that it had been leftover food that they couldn’t serve to their guests. Leftovers he could accept, but charity was an entirely different thing. He barely knew Janet, and he felt bad taking so much free food from her. 

“Sam, I had my first baby when I was just nineteen years old, the father was no good, and I was on my own. I know what it’s like to be short on money,” Janet told Sam. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Sam said. He was glad that he had never been completely on his own, he couldn’t even imagine what Janet must’ve been through. 

“I’m a tough cookie,” Janet heartily laughed, “And so are you Sam, but there is nothing wrong with accepting a little help.”

“Thank you,” Sam smiled, the kind gesture touched his heart, and he was so grateful to have loving and caring people in his life. 

\--

Sam greeted his husband at the door when he came home from work. 

“Hey Sammy,” Dean pulled Sam in for a hug. 

Sam pecked Dean on the lips. “How was work?” 

“Good,” Dean smiled, and for the first time in a very long time, he wasn’t lying. Work had actually been good. The pills were doing their job, and none of Dean’s wounds had started to bleed again, which was a plus. “Was distracted though. Kept thinking about tomorrow,” Dean smiled as he ran his hands up and down Sam’s sides. “I’ve never been to an ultrasound before,” he murmured. He didn’t even bother to hide his excitement, he was really looking forward to the appointment. 

“I’ve never had an ultrasound done at ten weeks before,” Sam smiled. “But Dr Lawrence has said that we should be able to see a lot, and we get to hear the heartbeat.”

Dean gently rubbed Sam’s stomach. Sam had already started to show at only ten weeks, almost eleven, which was very early according to Dr Lawrence, but apparently, that could happen during the second pregnancy. Sam’s abdominal muscles had already been stretched out from his first pregnancy with Noah. 

“There’s food in the fridge. We’ve got chicken wings, mashed potatoes, ribs, burgers, salad,” Sam started to list all of the things in their fridge.

“What? Why did you make that much food?” Dean frowned. Although, the real question was how could they afford that much food. Dean wouldn’t get his pay check until the end of the week. 

“Janet, at the diner, gave it to me,” Sam smiled when he thought about Janet’s act of kindness. “She had her first baby at the age of nineteen, and when she found out that we were struggling financially, she wanted to help out. She knows what it’s like.”

“You told her?” Dean asked, shocked. 

“I told Katie, but she talked to Janet,” Sam mumbled. Great, now he had upset Dean. Sam just wished that he could turn back time and lie to Dean instead of telling the truth. Things had finally been good between them. 

Dean couldn’t believe that Sam had openly discussed their financial situation with someone else. Janet worked at the biggest diner in town. Most people in Jacksville ate there at least twice a week. Dean had only talked to Janet a couple of times when she had come into the auto shop, but during those two times, Janet had talked a lot. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that Janet like to talk. Janet would only have to open her big mouth and tell one person, and after that it wouldn’t take long before the whole damn town knew that Dean couldn’t take care of his own family. Everyone in Jacksville would think that he was a fucking disgrace of a father who couldn’t even feed his own son and husband. Fuck. 

“I’d never let you or Noah starve,” Dean angrily exclaimed. “Why the fuck did you tell Katie or Janet that I can’t provide for my family?!” 

Sam shook his head, he was too tired for this. “You know what Dean? I can’t do this anymore.” This was the last straw. Sam had been walking on eggshells for weeks, he had done everything to keep Dean calm and happy, and now he was done. “I’ll spend the night at my dad’s house.”

“What?” Dean couldn’t believe his ears. “You’re leaving?” 

“You clearly don’t want me here,” Sam snorted. “Every little thing that I do or say seems to piss you off, which is why I’m leaving. You should be happy now.”

“Happy?!” Dean spat out. “You think that it makes me happy that you’re leaving?” 

“I’m too tired for this,” Sam shook his head and started to go up the stairs to get to their bedroom so he could pack some clothes. 

Dean placed a hand on Sam’s arm. 

“Let go of my arm Dean,” Sam said through gritted teeth. 

The sadness that flashed in Dean’s green eyes, were almost enough to make Sam want to turn back around. Almost. But he had made up his mind, he was spending the night at his dad’s place. 

Dean couldn’t do anything but watch as Sam stuffed an overnight bag full of clothes. It wasn’t until Sam started putting Noah’s clothes into the bag that Dean lost it. “You can’t take Noah away from me,” Dean yelled. 

“You think I’m going to leave him here with you?” Sam cried. “If you’re not yelling about something that’s made you angry, which is every little thing by the way, then you’re avoiding us.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Dean was stunned, he had never avoided neither Sam nor Noah on purpose. Dean had tried to spend as much time with Noah as he could, but Noah was a ball of energy, and Dean hadn’t been able to deal with that when he was in pain. 

“Bye Dean,” Sam said quietly before he picked up Noah and left. 

Dean could feel his heart clench in his chest when he heard the front door slam. There was no painkiller in the world that could dull the pain that Dean was feeling right in that moment. 

\--

Sam tried so hard to hold himself together as he was standing outside his dad’s house. He didn’t want Noah to see him crying. He took a few deep breaths before he rang the doorbell. 

“Sam?” Bobby sounded surprised when he opened the door. 

“Could we come in?” Sam bit his lips, he was on the verge of tears, and he just wanted to go inside. 

“Yeah, of course,” Bobby said and held the door open for them. “Here, let me take him,” Bobby took Noah out of Sam’s arms. 

“I was thinking, uh,” Sam paused, he didn’t know how to explain the situation. “Could we maybe sleep here tonight?” 

“Sam, what happened?” Bobby wanted to know. 

“Bobby, who was at the door?” came Cindy’s voice from the living room.

“Caleb and Cindy are here, I can tell them to go home,” Bobby immediately said.

“No, no,” now Sam felt really bad, his father had guests over and Sam had ruined their dinner. 

“I’ll go talk to them, they’ll understand,” Bobby squeezed Sam’s shoulder. 

Sam nodded wordlessly, he could feel the tears starting to stream down his cheeks. 

\--

“It’s John, you know what to do,” John’s voice said, and it was followed by a long beep. Dean wanted to scream. He had tried calling his dad three times now, and all of his calls had gone straight to voice mail. 

Dean didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how he was supposed to handle the situation, or how he was supposed to hold himself together. It had seemed like a good idea to turn to his father for help. It had been a stupid decision. Dean was mostly angry with himself, he should’ve known better. John Winchester rarely answered his phone, even if it was his own son calling. 

It had only been an hour, and Dean felt like he had already lost his mind. There were a million thoughts spinning around in his head, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

It was stupid, and fucking pointless, but he called his dad again, only to have his call go straight to voicemail, again. 

\--

Cindy gently ran her hand up and down Sam’s back while he cried. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam cried and wiped his nose. Cindy had stayed, even though Bobby had asked both her and Caleb to leave. Cindy had said that she knew what Sam was going through, and that there was no way she was leaving. 

“Why don’t we start from the beginning?” Cindy spoke calmly. “Are you and Dean fighting?”

Sam nodded. 

“Is this your first big fight?”

Sam hesitated before he shook his head. A part of him wanted to lie, and pretend that their marriage was fine. It was hard to admit the truth. To an outsider, Sam and Dean had the perfect marriage, and for the longest time Sam had thought that their marriage was perfect. He couldn’t deny it to himself any longer, his marriage was far from perfect, but if he couldn’t have the perfect marriage, he still wanted other people to believe that he did. He wanted to at least have that. 

“Do you fight a lot?” Cindy asked. 

Sam nodded. 

“What do you fight about?” Cindy wanted to know.

Bobby came into the kitchen and took a seat on the chair next to Sam. “Noah’s asleep,” he announced. 

“Dean’s been so angry lately,” Said quietly. “Everything I say seems to set him off. One minute we’re fine, the next he’s yelling at me.”

Bobby clenched his fists. He had no idea that Dean had treated Sam that way. Dean had seemed like his usual self at work. 

“You did the right thing by coming here,” Cindy said.

“I just need a moment to breathe,” Sam said, “I’m sure he has calmed down tomorrow.”

“Sam, you can’t go back to him,” Cindy exclaimed.

Confused, Sam shook his head. “Of course I have to go back. He’s my husband, he’s Noah’s father, and he’s the father of this baby,” Sam placed a hand over his stomach. “We have a home together, we’re married.”

“Not many people know this, but I’ve been married before,” Cindy confessed, “I was just twenty years old when I got married to Eric. He seemed like such a nice guy in the beginning, but after a while he started yelling at me. He criticized me all the time. Suddenly it was like I couldn’t breathe in my on home. I was constantly just waiting on the next big fight. After a while,” Cindy took a deep breath to compose herself, “after a while the fights stopped being just verbal. He started hitting me.”

Sam let out a gasp, he hadn’t know that Cindy had been in an abusive relationship. Bobby, on the other hand, already knew, but it still hurt to hear it. 

“Sam, I’m telling you, you have to get out now, before it goes too far,” Cindy warned.

“Cindy, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but Dean is not going to hit me. He’d never do something like that,” Sam assured Cindy.

Bobby didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to say anything, he wanted to yell at Dean. But at the same time, Bobby didn’t want to leave Sam. 

“Just think about it, that’s all I’m asking,” Cindy stroked Sam’s hair. 

“He’s not going to hit me,” Sam repeated. He was sure of it. Things had been bad lately, but it would never get that bad. Dean wasn’t abusive. Dean was the complete opposite of abusive, he had always been very protective of the people he loved. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Cindy said and got up. 

Bobby walked her to the door, and Sam could hear them mumbling something before the front door closed. 

When Bobby returned to the kitchen he patted his son’s cheek. “You look tired Sam, you should go and get some sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

“Yeah, is there everything I need in the guest bedroom?” Sam asked. His old bedroom no longer had a bed in it, instead of spending money on a new bed, they had brought along Sam’s old bed with them when they had moved into their house. 

“Yeah, and if you need anything, just let me know son,” Bobby said. “I love you Sam,” he said, he wanted to let his son know how loved he was. 

“I love you too dad,” Sam smiled. 

\--

Dean knocked on Bobby Singer’s door. He didn’t want to ring the doorbell in case Noah was asleep, but a soft knocking wouldn’t wake Noah up. 

It was nerve-wracking to say the least, Dean knew that Bobby would, most likely, be furious with him, but Dean had no other choice but to come over. He couldn’t just stay at home any longer. Every minute away from Sam and Noah was a minute too long. 

The door opened, and Dean had been right, Bobby looked furious. 

“You have some nerve coming here,” Bobby said through gritted teeth. 

“Sir, if you just let me talk to Sam-“

“Let me tell you this right now,” Bobby cut Dean off, “The only reason why I’m being civil right now is because I promised Sam I’d stay calm, and I always keep my promises to my son.”

“I get that you’re angry. I can’t apologize enough for what I’ve done,” Dean told Bobby.

“My son has told me that you have yelled at him for weeks, that he’s afraid to be even near you,” Bobby found it very hard to stay calm. 

Dean dropped his jaw. “He’s scared of me?”

“Go home, before I’ll do something that’ll land me in jail,” Bobby spat out. 

“Dad, what’s going on?” came Sam’s voice from somewhere inside the house. 

Dean saw his chance. “Sam?” he raised his voice a little so Sam would hear him.

“Go back to bed son,” Bobby said, obviously not wanting Sam to talk to Dean. 

Sam, however, did not go back to bed. He came to the front door, and when he spotted Dean he stopped in his tracks. 

“Sam, please just give me two minutes,” Dean begged. 

“Goodbye Dean,” Bobby said and was just about to close the door when Sam stopped him. Bobby’s eyes widened, “You can’t be serious Sam.”

“We can talk in the kitchen,” Sam said to Dean. 

Bobby reluctantly let Dean inside the house. 

\--

“You said two minutes, you should start talking,” Sam said. It was just Dean and Sam in the kitchen, and so far Dean hadn’t said a thing. 

“Sam, I’m sorry,” Dean apologized. 

“’Sorry’ is not going to cut it anymore,” Sam said. 

“Okay, how about this? I love you so much and I am so fucking sorry for everything that I’ve put you through. I haven’t been myself since that last hunt, and I know that that is no excuse for my behaviour. But don’t you ever think, not for a second, that I don’t want you or Noah in my home, because that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You and Noah, you guys are my home. I don’t have a home without you. I couldn’t even spend one hour alone in that house without you guys there with me. It broke my heart when you left like that, thinking that I didn’t want you anymore.” Dean couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. 

Sam broke. Seeing Dean cry was too much, and Sam could no longer stay mad at his husband. “Come here,” Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, “I love you too Dean, so much.”

“Come home with me Sammy, please,” Dean begged. 

Sam looked unsure of what to do, so Dean pressed a kiss to Sam’s cheek. “Please Sammy,” Dean whispered as he rubbed Sam’s back. 

“Okay,” Sam agreed. “Noah’s asleep though.”

“I’ll go get him,” Dean smiled, glad to have his family home with him.

\--

Dean put Noah into his crib in the nursery. “Goodnight Buddy, daddy loves you so much,” he whispered and kissed the top of Noah’s head. Noah stirred a little, but thankfully, he didn’t wake up. 

Dean was happy to have his family home with him, but he was anxious to walk into his own bedroom and face Sam. Slowly Dean made his way to the bedroom. Sam was already waiting for him in bed. 

“Did he wake up?” Sam asked.

“Nah, he’s asleep,” Dean told Sam. 

“Dean, we have to talk,” Sam breathed out. 

“I know,” Dean agreed. 

“Why did you lash out on me earlier?” Sam asked, “Janet and Katie were only trying to help.”

Dean sighed. “Because I didn’t want them to think that I can’t provide for my own family.”

“Dean, no one is judging us,” Sam said, “Janet has been there herself.”

Dean climbed into bed and laid down on his side, so that he was facing Sam. “I can take care of you and Noah. I don’t want the whole town to think that I can’t,” Dean mumbled.

“Dean, I didn’t tell the whole town. Only Janet and Katie know.”

“When I was little, we didn’t have much money. My mom told one of her friends in confidence that we had run out on money, and that so-called friend told every one of her friends, and they told their husbands. My dad was working at a convenient store at the time, and one of those husbands came into the store and embarrassed my dad in front of everyone, all the customers, and all of my dad’s colleagues,” Dean blinked away a tear. It was painful to think of that memory. John Winchester had always worked hard to provide for his family. The only reason why they had struggled financially, had been because John had bought a house that was too big, and too expensive. John had grown up in a trailer park and as a kid, he had promised himself that he was going to buy his family a nice and big house when he grew up. 

Sam leaned in and kissed Dean. “I know that you can take care of us Dean,” Sam said softly. “You’re a hard worker, and I know that you’d never deny me or Noah anything, but right now we need some help. Janet is not going to tell the whole town. Katie has known Janet for years, and she has assured me that Janet won’t tell anyone.”

“Okay,” Dean nodded and pulled his husband in for a tight hug. He needed to hold Sammy, needed to have him close. “I’m so glad you came home with me,” he murmured before he kissed the bridge of Sam’s nose. 

“I did because I miss my husband,” Sam confessed. “The one I married, because you’re not him. I don’t even recognize you sometimes De-an,” Sam’s voice broke. 

“Hey, hey,” Dean squeezed Sam’s arm, “I’m still here, I promise you that,” he looked Sam in the eyes. Sam’s eyes were filled with tears and Dean’s heart broke, because he knew that he had done that, he had made Sam cry. “I’m going to make up this to you. You’re going to get your husband back.”

“Ok-ay,” Sam replied shakily. 

“Get some sleep Sammy, we have an early doctor’s appointment,” Dean reminded his husband that they were scheduled for an ultrasound at 8 AM. 

Dean rubbed circles on Sam’s tummy until Sam fell asleep. “I’m going to be the husband that you deserve,” Dean whispered and kissed Sam’s forehead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to let the boys be happy for a while. Expect lots of fluff, sex and pregnancy-related stuff. 
> 
> I have been super busy, and the stress has made me unfocused, so writing has been extremely difficult. But things are getting better now, so I'm back to writing again. :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)

“Do you think we’ll be able to see much?” Dean asked. They were sitting in the waiting room, and so far they hadn’t talked much. Neither one of them wanted to talk about what had happened last night right before their ultrasound appointment. Dean figured that they should save the heavier stuff for later in the privacy of their own home. Besides, right now he wanted to remain happy. Sam had been to many ultrasound appointments with Noah, but this was Dean’s first time going to one.

Sam smiled. “Yeah, I think we should be able to see that it’s a baby at least.”

“Maybe we’ll see two,” Dean gently elbowed Sam in the side. 

“Oh, no,” Sam quickly shook his head. “I’ve already been to one ultrasound, and trust me, there’s only one baby in there.” Not that Sam would get upset if he was having twins, but one baby was a lot easier to handle. 

“Maybe one baby played hide and seek during your last ultrasound,” Dean playfully suggested. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised, this is your baby after all. It’s bound to be a sneaky little one,” Sam laughed. 

Dean looked over at their son, who was peacefully sleeping in his stroller. “What do you think we’re having this time?” Dean asked and turned back to Sam. “Boy or girl?”

“It’s still way too early to tell,” Sam pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know, but what do you think we’re having. If you were guessing,” Dean wanted to know. 

“I’m not good at this guessing game,” Sam admitted with a smile, “Thought for sure Noah was going to be a little Coral.”

“Did you have any other names picked out?” Dean asked. “You know, names that I hadn’t decided?” 

Sam shook his head. “No, I wanted our baby to have either your name or one of the names that you had picked out.”

“Why?” Dean blurted out. Believe it or not, he had never asked that question before. When he had stormed into Sam’s bedroom over a year ago, he had been so shocked to see a baby that he hadn’t even stop to think about the fact that the baby’s name was Noah. A name that Dean had basically decided, without even intending to. When Dean had learned that Noah’s middle name was Dean, he had been touched by the gesture. Dean hadn’t said much, just pulled in Sam for a hug and thanked him. 

“Because I love you,” Sam answered simply and looked Dean in the eyes. 

Dean picked up Sam’s hand and squeezed it. “I love you too Sammy.”

Sam leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder. “So what do you think? Boy or girl?” 

“Girl, I’m sure of it,” Dean decided. He had a pretty strong feeling that it was a little girl in Sam’s stomach. Call it father’s intuition or whatever, but Dean was sure that he was right on this one. 

“Maybe it’s wishful thinking,” Sam suggested, “I mean we already have a boy. It could be that you just want a girl this time.”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy. I’ll love the baby the just the same. But this right here,” he placed his hand over Sam’s stomach, “is a girl.”

Sam looked up at Dean and smiled. “Yeah?” 

Dean nodded and caressed Sam’s tummy. 

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Sam placed his hand on top of Dean’s. A nice, warm feeling began to spread in Sam’s chest. Things were finally looking up. Sam finally felt like he had gotten his husband back. 

“Sam Winchester,” Dr Lawrence sad with a smile. 

“Hi Dr Lawrence,” Sam looked up and smiled back at her.

Dean stood up and shook hands with their doctor. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Dr Lawrence said. 

\--

“I see we have one sleepy big brother,” Dr Lawrence nodded at Noah, who was still sleeping in his stroller. 

“Yeah, we figure we’d let him sleep,” Sam said, “It’s probably easier this way. If he’s not sleeping then he’s like an energizer bunny, running all over the place,” Sam chuckled. It would probably be a bit difficult for Dr Lawrence to do her work with an active little Noah running around. 

“That’s my boy,” Dean said proudly and puffed out his chest. 

Sam playfully rolled his eyes. “I only keep him around because he makes pretty babies,” he told Dr Lawrence. He did not have the usual strict patient-doctor relationship with her, they could crack jokes and be witty and sarcastic. 

“I’m sure he has other good qualities as well,” Dr Lawrence talked as if Dean wasn’t in the room. 

“He knows how to cook some dishes, and he’s got strong hands, so he’ll give me good foot rubs once I get bigger and my feet start aching,” Sam kept up the playful banter. 

“That’s all I’m good for,” Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Okay here we go,” Dr Lawrence said and started to act like a professional again, “Here is your baby,” she let the transducer glide over Sam’s stomach. 

And there it was. Their baby. Tiny, but still very visible. They could make out its head, arms, and legs. 

Dean never expected to feel so emotional but that was his baby. “It’s a baby,” he blurted out. He knew that he probably sounded really stupid, but he didn’t give a fuck. He also didn’t give a fuck that he was openly crying. “Oh God, it’s a baby,” he practically sobbed. 

“Dean,” Sam was crying too as he tenderly stroked his husband’s cheek. 

“Wait ‘til you hear the heartbeat,” Dr Lawrence smiled fondly. 

Dean squeezed Sam’s hand as they listened to their baby’s heartbeat. “Thank you Sammy, thank you so much,” Dean pressed his lips against Sam’s. Dean couldn’t thank his husband enough for what he was doing. Sam was carrying their second baby, and Dean was emotional as fuck. He had given up the tough act the second the image of his baby popped up on the screen. 

Sam laughed through the tears, “You do know that you’re the one who got me pregnant in the first place. So thank you Dean.”

They watched as their baby moved, and they listened intently to the heartbeat. 

“Everything looks great,” Dr Lawrence said. “I’ll print out some pictures for you.”

\--

Dean couldn’t stop staring at the ultrasound pictures. It was more real now that ever. They were having another baby. Dean had taken the morning off, and he knew that he was supposed to drive Sam and Noah home, and then drive straight to work. But he couldn’t move, so they were sitting in the car in the hospital’s parking lot, and Dean couldn’t tear his eyes off the ultrasound pics. 

“Look, this is your little brother or sister, but we think it’s goin’ to be a lil’ sis,” Dean showed Noah the images. Noah looked at the grainy sonogram and it actually looked like he was deep in thoughts. 

Sam kissed the top of Noah’s head. “I think you’re going to be a great big brother,” he said. 

Dean let out a sigh. “I have to get to work,” he nervously drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “Have you talked to your dad? I mean does he know that me and you are good?” Dean was no coward, he wasn’t scared of facing Bobby, but he was anxious. 

Sam nodded. “Called him before I went to bed last night. Told him not to worry, but he’s my dad, so of course he’ll worry.” Sam decided to leave out the part of the conversation where his father had said that he’d beat the crap outta Dean if he ever pulled a stunt like that again. 

“Okay,” Dean nodded. 

\--

Work went surprisingly well. Sure Bobby glared at Dean every now and then, but after they had sat down and talked it all out during their lunch break, the air was cleared. Dean had apologized, and explained to Bobby that he had been under a lot of stress lately, but he had never meant to take it out on Sam. 

Bobby seemed fine with that explanation, at least for now. 

\--

Dean tossed his keys in the dish when he came home from work. 

“Sammy?” he called out in a low voice in case Noah was asleep. 

“In here,” came Sam’s voice from the living room. 

Dean walked over to the living room, and smiled when he saw that Sam was laying down on the couch. Lately Sam had been more tired, and he had started to take naps sometimes in the middle of the day. 

“How are you feeling?” Dean crouched down in front of his husband. 

“Tired,” Sam yawned. 

Dean looked around, “Where’s Noah?” 

“Napping,” Sam said. 

Sam had a blanket over him, but Dean could see that Sam wasn’t wearing a shirt. “How long has he been napping for?” Dean started to tug at Sam’s blanket. He let his hand glide over Sam’s bare chest, just enjoying the feel of Sam’s sleep warm skin. 

“I just put him to bed,” Sam said and stared at Dean’s hand that kept moving lower. 

It was just the answer Dean was looking for. They had time. Time to be together, and Dean was going to enjoy every single second of it. He leaned in for a kiss. 

Sam sighed happily into the kiss. Dean smiled when he noticed that Sam was only wearing a pair of thin boxer briefs. “The things you do to me,” Dean nibbled at Sam’s lower lip. 

Dean cupped Sam’s ass, and squeezed it, hoping that Sam would get the idea of what he wanted. Sam let out a low moan, and that was Dean’s cue to move. 

“Want you,” Dean said, as if it wasn’t obvious. He slid his hand inside Sam’s boxer briefs, and started to stroke Sam’s length. Sam was now a whimpering mess. Dean pulled his hand out of Sam’s underwear. Foreplay was over. Dean threw away the blanket that had been covering Sam, and yanked Sam’s boxer briefs all the way down. 

“You have no idea how fucking sexy you look, carrying my baby n’ all,” Dean hadn’t meant to let that slip out, but he was glad he had said it once he noticed the grin he got in response from Sam. 

“Yeah?” Sam panted as Dean started to suck on his neck. Sam tilted his head to the side to give Dean better access. “What does it do to you?”

“This,” Dean grabbed Sam’s hand and placed it over the bulge in his jeans. “Turns me on, knowing that I can do this to you. That I can turn you into a whimpering mess. That I can make you come. That you’ll spread your legs for me so good,” he breathed heavily into Sam’s ear. 

Sam’ head was spinning, and he spread his legs to let Dean know exactly what he wanted. “Fuck me,” Sam ordered. He needed it. Badly. 

Dean was more than happy to comply. He pulled his clothes of in record time, and he quickly found the lube that they had stashed underneath their couch. 

“Ahh,” Sam whimpered as Dean pushed a slick finger inside. “Another,” Sam begged. 

Dean roughly prepared Sam, and when he was done he pulled his fingers out and slicked up his cock before he pushed all of the way in. He kept studying Sam’s face, looking for any signs of discomfort. 

When Sam didn’t display any signs of discomfort, Dean started moving. He started off slow, since it had been a while, and Sam might need the nice and easy start. But after a while Dean picked up the pace. Sam was making all these wonderful noises, and his eyes were shining with happiness and it was almost too damn much. Dean loved his husband to the moon and back. It was cheesy as fuck, but damn it he really loved his Sammy. 

Sam came untouched, and Dean came shortly thereafter. With all the gentleness that Dean could muster, he carefully pulled out and laid down on his side, next to Sam. 

Sam was grinning as he carded his fingers through Dean’s sweaty locks. “Had almost forgotten how good you are at that.”

Dean threw his head back and let out a laugh. “One of the reasons why you keep me around?” he playfully joked, thinking of the way Sam had joked with their doctor earlier. 

“Uh-uh,” Sam nodded and leaned in for a kiss, which Dean happily returned. 

“No wonder I’m pregnant,” Sam snorted. “You come in here, in your blue overalls, all greasy and sweaty, and you make me forget all about the nice nap I was just about to have.”

“Yeah?” Dean smiled cockily. Glad he had that effect on Sam. 

“Not so tired anymore,” Sam murmured and started to place a row of open mouthed kisses over Dean’s collar bone. “Can’t get enough of you.”

Dean let his hands roam over Sam’s naked skin, but he stopped once he reached Sam’s protruding belly. “Hey you in there,” Dean cooed and kissed Sam’s belly button. 

“Not fair,” Sam half-smiled, half-cried. “You cannot fuck me senseless, and then be so darn adorable with our baby.” 

Dean smiled up at Sam. “I love you.”

Sam’s heart expanded in his chest. “Love you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to speed things up a little. Sam is now 29 weeks along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry that I haven't updated this sooner. The last three weeks have been super hectic, but things have finally calmed down now. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and for leaving such lovely comments, and thank you for the kudos. Hope you all have a nice weekend.

“Do you need help up?” Dean smirked as he asked his question. He had asked that same question two minutes ago, but had been met with an angry glare from Sam. 

Sam let out a grunt before he narrowed his eyes at Dean. “Just so you know, I can get up by myself. I just need a little help, this once.” He’d like to keep some of his dignity. It wasn’t fair, he was only 29 weeks along, and he should be able to get out of bed on his own without any help. If he needed this much help now, he couldn’t help but wonder how dependent he’d get once he got closer to his due date. 

“Of course,” Dean had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. “Easy Sammy,” he said as he helped Sam stand up. 

“This is all your fault,” Sam pouted. “You cook too much, and then I eat too much.” He was full of pregnancy hormones, he was allowed to be irrational. 

Dean could only chuckle. 

“I wasn’t this big with Noah,” Sam exclaimed. 

“Good morning baby girl,” Dean cooed and kissed Sam’s stomach, completely ignoring Sam’s complaints. 

Technically they didn’t know whether baby Winchester was a girl or a boy. Their baby had been a little shy during their last ultrasound. Dean was still one hundred percent sure though that it was a girl, while Sam tried to use gender neutral pronouns whenever he talked about the baby. 

They shared a quick shower before Noah woke up. 

As Sam poured some maple syrup over his pancakes he found himself stealing glances at Dean. Dean was feeding Noah some mashed banana, and Noah was happily eating. That increased libido that came with pregnancy had kicked in about a month ago, and Sam wouldn’t say that he was horny all the time, just ninety-nine percent of the time. Again, that was all Dean’s fault. Dean was too damn attractive. On top of that he was a great father and husband. Sam was weak, and not to mention horny. He silently wondered if he could get Dean to take the day off. 

Noah let out a loud giggle as Dean poked him in the side. Sam grinned. Even if Dean stayed at home, there wouldn’t be much sex. Noah was wide awake and even more energetic than usual. 

Sam had basically spoiled Noah, he had showered his son with attention to the point where Noah couldn’t play alone in his playpen for even ten minutes. But Sam didn’t mind, he wanted to play with his son. He had promised himself that his kids would never feel alone in their own home, like Sam had felt when he was a kid. 

A strong kick made Sam snap out of his reverie. “Oomph.” It shouldn’t startle him every time it happened, he should be used to it by now, but it still took him by surprise every time his baby kicked. 

“Baby kickin´?” Dean asked and placed a hand on Sam’s stomach. 

“Yeah,” Sam smiled and moved Dean’s hand to the spot where their baby was kicking. 

Dean’s smile widened. He lived for moments like these. “She’s a strong one,” he commented.

“We still don’t know if it’s a girl,” Sam reminded his husband. 

Dean grunted something incoherent and took a sip of his coffee. Sam just rolled his eyes, his husband was so convinced that he was right. 

Dean put his mug down and looked down at the table. “Cody is in town. Was thinking about visiting him after I get home from work. It might get late.”

Sam’s head snapped up. “Yeah, sure. How is he by the way? Haven’t heard from him in a while.”

“He’s good, nothing to worry about,” Dean said. 

Dean was running low on pills. Lately his usual dose didn’t do much, he constantly needed to higher the dosage to get the desired effect that he wanted and needed. Cody wasn’t happy about it, Dean knew that. Mostly it was because Cody felt guilty that he had been the one who supplied Dean with the pills in the first place. Now that Dean was basically addicted, even though Dean would never admit that himself, Cody felt extremely guilty for what he had done. Dean would never blame his friend, no he blamed himself. During the first few months he had been in denial, thinking that the pills were only a temporary plan, and that he could stop anytime he wanted to. Now, there was no point in denying it anymore, Dean knew that he couldn’t just stop. 

He and Sam were in a happy place. Sam’s due date was getting closer, and Dean just wanted his husband to have some peace and quiet before the birth of their second child. Sam deserved that. Dean knew that if he quit using now, all hell would break lose. He’d get angry, lose his temper, and honestly, he was scared that he’d take it out on Sam. 

Dean loved Sam with all of his heart, and it made no damn sense for him to yell at Sam, but Dean had no idea how he would cope with withdrawal symptoms, pain and anxiousness while taking care of a toddler and working full time. Dean would like to think that he was a badass superhero who could handle just about anything that life threw at him. But lately he had realized that even badass superheroes break down sometimes. 

“I have to get to work,” Dean said and pecked Sam on the lips. 

“We’ll miss you. Have a good day,” Sam smiled. 

\--

Cody didn’t hug Dean, instead he just offered a quick nod when they met in the parking lot outside the motel where Cody was currently staying at. 

“Let’s get inside,” Cody said. 

Dean nodded. 

“I couldn’t get the usual stuff,” Cody sighed and closed the door behind him. 

“What do you mean you couldn’t get the usual stuff?” Dean asked. He could feel his hands tremble, this morning he hadn’t been able to take his usual high dosage, since he was almost out of pills. Work had been hell. Trying to work on a car with trembling hands was not ideal. 

“Relax I got you something else, it’s basically the same thing. Zach used to take them back when he was still hunting,” Cody tried his best to keep Dean calm. 

Cody’s older brother Zach had hunted for almost ten years before he got married and became an ex-hunter. Zach had never gotten used to the blood, the screams, the killings, and all the evil in the world. He had been an excellent hunter, fast, strong and smart, but he had always been a bit more sensitive than most hunters. But Dean had never known that Zach used to take pills. 

“They’re strong, so cut them in halves or something, and call me if you feel weird,” Cody hesitated before he placed the bottle of pills in Dean’s outstretched hand. 

“Thanks,” Dean said. 

“How’s Sam?” Cody asked. 

“He’s fine,” Dean replied. “He’s at 29 weeks now. Getting big.”

Cody nodded and took a seat on the narrow motel bed. “Do you remember when we were kids?” he said all of a sudden. 

“Yeah, sure,” Dean said, not sure where Cody was going with that. 

“We used to think hunters were the coolest. We idolized them,” Cody muttered. “I’ve never wanted to be anything else but a hunter. Never wanted to be a fireman, a cop or a doctor.”

Dean let out a sigh. “Yeah, me neither. Thought I was going to hunt for as long as I could.”

“Look what it’s doing to us,” Cody finally looked up and looked Dena right in the eyes. “Zach wasn’t cut out for the hunting lifestyle, and now you’re hooked on pills. I’ve taken pills every now and then just to take the edge off. Fuck, where did things go wrong?” 

“I don’t know, but I wish things were different,” Dean admitted. 

“Sometimes I think about quitting. Get a regular job,” Cody admitted. “Don’t know if I can. Hunting is all I’ve ever done.”

“I know the feeling,” Dean said and took a seat next to Cody. “If Sam hadn’t gotten pregnant I’d still be out there hunting.”

“You must miss it,” Cody said, it wasn’t a question.

Dean nodded. “I still look through the newspapers every day, trying to find something strange. Sometimes it just hits me that I’m never going to hunt again. I’m going to work at that auto shop until I retire from work.” He hadn’t told anyone this before, but it felt good to be able to open up. “At first I was taking the pills to relieve the pain, but now it’s like I need them to function. I love Sammy and the kids. But I’m scared shitless that I’m not enough. That all I’m ever good for is hunting.”

“Don’t even think that,” Cody stopped his friend right there. “Sam freaking adores you. He looks at you like you hung the damn moon.”

“He was just sixteen when we first met. It was obvious that he had never been on a date before he met me. What if he picked me because I was the first gay guy that walked into his life,” Dean stared down at his lap. 

“Fuck Dean, how long have you felt like this?” Cody asked. 

“I dunno,” Dean shrugged, “It was a small, stupid thought at first, but then it just grew bigger and bigger,” Dean bit his lip. “Sam is smart, he got into Stanford. He’s kind, loyal and just amazing. Everyone, well every sane person that is, likes him. If he went to Stanford, he’d have both men and women just throwing themselves at him.”

“And you don’t have men and women throwing themselves at you? I remember when we used to go out, people just flocked around you.”

“They wanted me for the night,” Dean snorted. 

“Sam is in it for the long haul. He married you,” Cody reminded his friend. 

“I’m scared he’ll leave me. I haven’t been the best husband. I’ve yelled at him, basically treated him like shit, and one time he left. He packed a bag, took Noah, and went over to his dad’s house. Thought I was going to lose my mind,” Dean thought back the time when Sam had left their house after a particularly nasty argument. “When he broke up with me I nearly lost it. I drank, I lost focus, I felt so fucking useless,” Dean thought back to the time when Sam had broken up with him. Back when Dean hadn’t known that Sam was pregnant with his child. 

Cody nodded. He knew that the breakup had been hard on Dean. 

“I need him and the kids,” Dean said. 

“Sam’s not going to leave you,” Cody said.

“Thought for sure he was going to when he packed that bag and left the house with Noah. Thought that this was it you know,” Dean barely whispered. 

“But it wasn’t,” Cody reminded his friend. 

“If it happens again he will leave me,” Dean said. “If I ever get like that again, if I lose my temper and yell at him, he’ll leave me.”

Cody rubbed Dean’s back, offering some silent support. 

“I have to go,” Dean stood up, “Thanks for helping out.”

Cody stood up. “I want you to quit using the pills after the baby has been born. No buts,” Cody said when he noticed that Dean opened his mouth to protest, “You have to stop at some point Dean.”

“And you think that it’s a good time to stop when I have a newborn to take care of?” Dean snorted. 

“You don’t have to stop taking the pills right after the birth, all I’m saying is that you have to stop at some point. Maybe wait until the baby is a couple of months old, then tell Sam that you want to take a fishing trip with me. We’ll go up to that old lake house that’s been in my family for ages, and you can scream and yell as much as you want there. I’ll be there with you, and I’ll help through it. The withdrawal symptoms will be a fucking nightmare, but when you get back home everything will be alright.”

“Thank you Cody,” Dean said, his voice thick with emotion. Cody’s idea sounded fantastic, and the best part was that Cody had offered to be there and help Dean through it all. If Dean was being honest, the withdrawal symptoms scared him, but he knew that having his best friend there with him would make everything easier. There was no way he’d ever be able to thank Cody enough. 

“I’m here for you,” Cody pulled his friend in for a hug. 

Dean didn’t say anything back, instead he just hugged Cody a little bit tighter. 

\--

“You’re awake,” Dean said when he got back home and found Sam sprawled out on the couch in their living room, watching TV. 

“Yeah,” Sam smiled, “Baby’s very active tonight.” He placed a hand over his stomach and felt a strong kick. 

“Sorry for coming home so late,” Dean leaned down and kissed Sam. 

“It’s okay,” Sam murmured against Dean’s lips. 

Dean pecked the tip of Sam’s nose. “Want to come to bed with me? Maybe a massage will help you fall asleep,” Dean suggested. 

Sam grinned mischievously. “Or you could just fuck me that usually knocks me out.” 

“Sam,” Dean exclaimed and placed his hands on Sam’s stomach. “The baby can hear you,” he said while he pretended to cover the baby’s ears. He really wasn’t all that shocked though. Sam had been wanting to have a lot more sex lately, and Dean wasn’t complaining. Not at all. 

Sam just laughed. “Come on Winchester, show me what you’ve got.”

“I can do that,” Dean said before he attacked Sam’s lips. 

\--

The lovely scent of pancakes greeted Sam in the morning. He smiled and opened his eyes to see his husband standing by the bed, holding a breakfast tray in his hands. 

“Good morning,” Sam smiled up Dean. 

“Morning Sleepyhead,” Dean said and placed the tray on the nightstand. 

And just as Sam had thought, Dean had made pancakes. They looked delicious. Dean had even remembered to sprinkle some fresh strawberries over them. Strawberries were Sam’s latest craving. Before that he had gone through a long period of junk food cravings, where he wanted everything from French fries and burgers to burritos. 

“I have to get to work,” Dean leaned down to kiss Sammy on the forehead. 

“Already?” Sam pouted. 

“What?” Dean raised an eyebrow, “Twice on the couch, and once in bed last night wasn’t enough for you?” he smirked at the way Sam blushed. Dean had jerked Sam off on the couch, and when Sam had gotten hard again shortly thereafter, to both of their surprise, Dean had given his husband a blowjob. The grand finale had taken place in their bed, where Dean had fucked Sam nice and slow for what seemed like hours. 

“Don’t forget to bring lunch, there should be some leftover lasagna in the fridge,” Sam decided to change the subject. His cheeks suddenly felt very hot. 

“Yeah, I found it,” Dean smiled. “I wanted to run something by you,” Dean’s face suddenly turned serious. 

“Okay,” Sam said. 

“Cody wants to go up to his family’s old lake house. It’s a long drive, and we’ll probably be gone for a week or so. We won’t leave now, but I was thinking after the baby has been born,” Dean talked fast. He wanted to bring up the subject now rather than later. Leaving Sam alone with a baby and a toddler was bad, Dean knew that, but he was hoping that by telling Sam now, he’d somehow ease Sam into it. 

If Dean waited until after the baby was born to tell Sam about the lake house trip, then Sam might think that Dean only used the lake house as a lame excuse to get away from home because he couldn’t deal with a screaming infant. Dean didn’t want Sam to think like that. The only reason why Dean wanted to go up to that old lake house was to get clean, nothing else. He didn’t want to escape from his parental responsibilities or anything like that. 

“You want to take a trip right after our baby has been born?” Sam was stunned. 

“I won’t leave you right after the birth Sammy,” Dean quickly said, “But maybe after a few months or so.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam shrugged and looked down. 

Dean could tell that Sam was hurt. “It’s just that we haven’t been up there in ages, and we really miss the place.” And Dean was back to lying to his own husband. Lying to cover up his own tracks. “But I’ve told Cody that we’ll have to wait, because I’m not going to leave you right after you’ve give birth. I’d never do that. I want to be with our baby, I can't wait to meet her, you know that.”

“It’s fine,” Sam nodded, and visibly relaxed now that he knew that Dean wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. “Of course you can go on a little trip with Cody. I should’ve known that you wouldn’t leave me right after the birth of our baby, I’m just so full of pregnancy hormones. I’m not thinking straight,” Sam apologized for jumping to conclusions. 

“I love you so much Sammy,” Dean leaned down and kissed Sam on the lips. “When the kids get older we’ll all go on a trip together. It’ll be our first family vacation.”

“That sounds nice,” Sam smiled. 

Dean pulled off Sam’s covers and kissed the bump. He let his lips linger a little longer than usual. 

He had to get clean for his family.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know where to begin. The truth is that I've been preoccupied with (what feels like) a million things lately, and I had almost forgotten how much I love to write. It's actually your sweet comments that made me start writing again. Thank you so much. I'll try my best to finish this story. I'm already writing on the next chapter.

“Are you okay Dean?” Sam asked in concern. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean answered absentmindedly while he kept his focus on the road. 

“Are you sure?” Sam gnawed on his bottom lip. Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring Dean along to Lamaze class. Maybe going to Lamaze class had been a bad idea in general. Sam had already given birth once, he knew what to do. But he wanted to go. Wanted to have Dean hold his hand as they practiced different breathing techniques. “I know that birthing video was pretty, uh, intense. It’s only natural if you feel grossed out.”

Dean instantly switched his focus to Sam. “You think I’m grossed out about seeing a baby being born?” 

Sam shrugged. “I dunno,” he quietly mumbled. “You haven’t said anything since we watched that video in class, so I just figured that it made you feel weird or something.”

Without saying a word, Dean pulled over on the side of the road. They sat in silence for a moment, before Deans spoke. “Truth is I’m scared Sammy,” Dean admitted as he looked out the window at the empty road ahead. He couldn’t bring himself to look his husband in the eyes. “I’m scared of panicking while you’re giving birth,” he said quietly, ashamed of himself. All he wanted was to be the supportive husband, a solid rock for Sammy, but the truth was that Dean was scared shitless. “That woman, in the video,” Dean took a deep breath before he continued, “She looked like she was in so much pain, and there was a lot of blood. I know that the doctor said it was fine, but I didn’t think it looked fine.” 

Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and gently kissed it. “Hey, it’s perfectly fine to be scared. I’m scared too, you know?”

Dean finally turned around so that he was looking Sam in the eyes. “But I’m not supposed to be scared. I’m supposed to be the strong one. You’re giving birth, the least I can do is to be there for you.”

“You are here for me,” Sam smiled. “You’ve been a great support. You’ve given me countless backrubs, you’re always making sure that we’re fully stocked on ice-cream since that has been my biggest craving throughout this pregnancy, and you’re always telling me how beautiful I look.”

Dean half-smiled. “But I want to, you know, be strong for you when you’re giving birth.”

“My dad wouldn’t exactly be happy if he knew that I was telling you this,” Sam admitted, “But he freaked out when I was about to give birth to Noah. He even had to leave the room. Dr Lawrence had to run after him and bring him back.”

Dean’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that from Bobby. The old man wasn’t easily scared. 

“He told me afterwards that it was hard for him to watch me suffer from all that pain,” Sam told Dean. 

Dean looked down at their joined hands. “That’s the worst part, seeing you in pain. Don’t know if I can deal with that.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a great birthing coach,” Sam smiled, “I’m sure of it.” Sam had a lot of faith in his husband. 

“Thanks Sammy,” Dean leaned forward and gave Sam a quick kiss. “Needed to hear that.” He placed his hands on top of Sam’s protruding belly. “Four more weeks,” he said in awe. 

Sam just hummed as he placed his hand on top of Dean’s. 

\--

“Oh, god, yes. Right there,” Sam practically moaned. 

“Sammy,” Dean sternly told his husband. “I’m glad you’re enjoying this massage, but please do it quietly.” Sam’s moans definitely had an effect on Dean, and they couldn’t do anything about it, because Noah was still very much awake. 

Sam smirked as he turned around and looked at his husband’s flushed face. “Am I giving you a hard time?” The pun was definitely intended. 

Dean lightly pinched his smirking husband in the side. “You know you are.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to give it to you so good later,” Sam said in a low, husky tone. 

Dean couldn’t help but letting out a low groan. He loved how pregnancy had increased Sam’s libido. "Yeah?” he asked in a raspy voice. 

“Mhmm,” Sam hummed. “Have thought about it all day. Me on all fours, you behind me, thrusting, fucking me so good.”

“Shit,” Dean shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Maybe we should try to get Noah to take a nap.”

Sam let out a laugh. “He’s already taken one nap today. If he takes another, he’s going to be up all night.”

Dean sighed. Sam was right. As usual. Even though Dean would never admit on the last part. 

“Don’t stop,” Sam scolded his husband. 

“Right,” Dean remembered and started to knead the sore muscles in Sam’s back again. 

\--

Sam smiled as he looked at the sonograms on his dad’s fridge. He used the tip of his finger to trace the contours of his baby in the latest sonogram. It had turned into a tradition. After every ultrasound, Sam would always ask for copies of the sonogram so he could give one to his dad. Bobby, the proud grandfather, now had his fridge full of sonogram pictures of both Noah and the new baby. 

“Do you think there will be one more picture going up before the birth?” Bobby asked. 

Sam turned around. “No, I don’t think so. Everything looked fine during my last doctor’s visit, so I don’t think I need more ultrasounds.”

Bobby just nodded and finished setting the table. “Have you heard anything from Dean?”

“He texted me about an hour ago, said he’s going to keep working on the car,” Sam replied. 

Sam’s car had broken down on the way to the grocery store earlier in the day. They still had Dean’s Impala, but Sam didn’t fit into it now that he was big as a house. So it was important that they got Sam’s car up and running again as soon as possible. 

“The offer still stands, you can borrow my old truck. It’ll take you wherever you need to go,” Bobby said. 

Sam smiled. His father had offered them one of his cars as soon as he had heard about their situation. But Dean wanted to at least try and fix up their car before he accepted Bobby’s offer. 

“Now, who’s’ ready to eat the best spaghetti in town?” Bobby said loudly. 

“Me! Me! Me!” Noah came running into the kitchen with his arms in the air, looking like a little mad man. Sam couldn’t help but smile. Noah had definitely inherited his father’s appetite. 

“Okay Buddy,” Bobby picked up Noah and placed him in the high chair. “I made extra so you can bring some home and feed your husband whenever he gets home,” Bobby told Sam. 

“Thank you dad,” Sam appreciated not having to cook. Lately his feet had been aching, and he hadn’t been able to stand up for very long. Fortunately, he had a kind father who invited them over for dinner. 

Sam took a seat at the table, opposite his father. “Everything looks great dad.”

“Yum!” Noah happily stuffed his mouth full of spaghetti. 

“You two aren’t exactly hard to impress,” Bobby chuckled. 

Sam smiled. “Oh, I bet you could impress a woman too with your cooking skills. I know you make a mean lasagne.” 

Bobby held up the Sippy cup for Noah and helped him drink from it. “I don’t know about that son,” Bobby laughed nervously. 

“Come on dad,” Sam pressed, “You can’t live alone forever. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to eat your dinner with every day?” 

Ever since he had moved out, he had been worried about his father living alone. Bobby deserved to have love in his life. 

“I have you guys just across the street,” Bobby said in hopes that it’d put an end to the conversation. 

It didn’t. 

“But wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to cuddle up with on the couch?” Sam continued. 

“I’m too old for that,” Bobby laughed. 

“You’re never too old to be in love,” Sam said. 

Bobby looked up at his son. “You’d really be okay with me dating?”

Sam placed his hand on top of his father’s. “Of course I’m okay with it. I’ve always been okay with it. You’ve been alone for way too long.”

“Don’t know who’d date me though,” Bobby laughed. 

“Sheila Watson,” Sam suggested and grinned big. Sheila, who worked at the local flower shop, had always chitchatted a little longer with Bobby compared to her other customers. She also batted her eyelashes more than usual whenever Bobby entered her shop. She always remembered which fertilizer he used and she always let Bobby know that he could call her if he had any questions. It was endearing to watch the two of them interact. Sheila was outgoing and flirty, and Bobby always just stood there and looked nervous, not knowing how to handle Sheila. 

“Do you want another soda Sam?” Bobby asked. 

“Sure, but this conversation is not over,” Sam told his father. Sam was not giving up so easily. 

\--

Dean tiredly slipped into bed. Even though he tried to do it as carefully as he could he still managed to wake up Sam. 

“Dean?” Sam whispered in the darkness. 

“Who else?” Dean tried to joke. 

Sam switched on the bedside lamp, and when he did that, he caught a glimpse of the clock on the bedside table. “It’s eleven pm,” he said, “Did you just get home?”

Dean nodded and pulled in Sam close. “Yeah, you know me. I don’t like to give up. Had to though. We didn’t have the right spare parts, so I had to order some. My hands are tied until the order shows up,” he said with a grunt. 

“You should’ve come home sooner,” Sam gently stroked Dean’s stubbly cheek. “My dad has a truck that we can borrow, you know that.”

Dean simply nodded. “So how was spaghetti night at your dad’s?” he decided to change the subject. 

“It was fine,” Sam smiled. “Think I finally convinced my dad to start dating.”

Dean let out a chuckle. “Wow. How did you do that?”

“I just told him all the perks of being in a relationship,” Sam stated proudly. 

Dean pressed a kiss to Sam’s temple. “There are a lot of those,” he smiled down at Sam. 

“Yeah,” Sam smiled back before he placed his head on Dean’s bare chest. 

“Goodnight,” Dean said and kissed Sam’s forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Sam instantly replied before he hit the lights. 

\--

“Vroom, vroom,” Noah laughed as he made some car noises. 

“Yeah, Buddy, vroom, vroom,” Sam smiled as he helped his son buckle up. It was a relief to finally have a car again. Well, a car that he could fit into that was.“So Buddy, what are we going to get at the store? Should we get something for Katie since she's going to watch you today?” 

Noah started to talk animatedly. Sam could only make out a few words, the rest was basically baby talk. Noah knew a whole lot of words, but he still talked like a baby sometimes. Sam found it adorable. 

\--

“Excuse me?” Dean heard a female voice calling out from somewhere at the auto shop. Dean was in Bobby’s office, so he guessed that the voice was coming from the entrance. He put his coffee mug down and stood up. Hopefully, he’d get a break later. 

He had been right, there was a woman at the entrance, and she lit up when she spotted Dean.

“Oh, so you’re open?” The woman breathed out a sigh of relief and removed her sunglasses. 

“Until six thirty,” Dean smiled. “What can I do for you?” 

The woman laughed. “I’m not sure exactly, but my car keeps making these weird noises. I mean it still works, but I think I should at least look it up before I continue my drive.”

“I’ll take a look at it,” Dean said. “Do you have a long drive ahead of you?” 

“Yeah,” The woman smiled, “I’ve just visited my baby sis, and I was on my way home when I noticed the noises. I still have about four or five hours of driving, depending on which roads I take, and then I’m home.”

They walked outside to take a look at the car. Dean couldn’t help but whistle when he saw the car. A bright and shining Rolls Royce. “Now that is a fine car,” he said as he carefully stroked the hood. 

“So what do you drive?” the woman asked.

“My Baby,” Dean replied. “My ’67 Chevrolet Impala.”

“No way!” The woman exclaimed, “My brother used to have one of those, I got really angry at him when he sold it before asking me first. I would’ve bought it in an instant.”

Dean let out a laugh. 

“I’m Aubrey,” the woman introduced herself with a smile. 

“Dean,” Dean said. 

“I know, I noticed your nametag,” Aubrey winked, “Also noticed the wedding ring.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. 

“Whoever snagged you is one lucky girl,” Aubrey winked. 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “He, actually,” he corrected her. “And I’m the lucky one.”

“Ah,” Aubrey smiled, “So it’s true what they say, ‘All the good guys are either gay or taken’. You must be really good then, since you’re both.”

Dean didn’t bother correcting her on that one. He wasn’t gay, he was bisexual. And truth to be told, he found Aubrey attractive. He had always been a sucker for women with long legs. Not only did Aubrey have long legs, she also had some other assets as well that Dean tried desperately not to stare at. If Dean had been single, he would’ve taken her to the nearest motel room, or the backseat of his car. Or her car. Dean wasn’t really picky. 

But Dean wasn’t single. Far from it. Dean had a lovely husband and son, and one more loveable little person on the way. And no Aubrey in the world could ever measure up to that. 

\--

It was stupid. So very, very stupid. Dean worked an auto shop, he dealt with customers every day. Some of them were attractive women in their early twenties. Sam’s bottom lip began to quiver. He blamed it on the pregnancy hormones. 

He had decided to swing by Dean’s workplace and drop off some snacks for Dean. It was a lame excuse to see Dean really. Sam had been bored out of his mind at home, since Noah was at Katie’s. Katie loved Noah and wanted to have what she called ‘a Noah and Katie day’. Plus, Sam missed his husband, so it made sense to pay him a visit. 

Since it was a surprise visit, Sam figured that he should really surprise Dean. So Sam had snuck in through the back door, and when he heard the sound of his husband’s deep voice coming from outside he had simply followed the voice. 

Now Sam kind of wished he hadn’t. From the window he could see Dean talking to a woman in her early twenties. She was beautiful. She had that long and shiny hair, a dress that didn’t leave much to imagination, high heels and Sam could catch the scent of her sweet perfume that still lingered in the air, so Sam guessed that the woman had been inside the auto shop. She had that white and shiny smile, and every time she smiled Dean either smiled or laughed too. 

Sam was torn. He didn’t know whether or not he should go outside and interrupt the conversation. A part of him wanted to go all caveman and go out there and wrap his arms around Dean and yell ‘he’s taken’. But there was also a part of him that wanted to run and hide. 

Run and hide it was. Sam fled to his dad’s office, and decided to wait for Dean there. Sam took a seat on the small couch and nervously clutched the brown paper bag in his hands. 

A couple of minutes later, Sam could hear Dean whistling some happy tune. Dean was happy. The beautiful woman had made Dean happy. Sam felt nauseous. 

“Sam! What are you doing here?” Dean happily exclaimed when he noticed his husband sitting in the office. 

Sam looked up, and he tried to offer a smile. “Brought you some cupcakes. I made them.” He said and held up the paper bag. He hoped he hadn’t crushed all of the cupcakes during his anxiety attack. 

“I love you,” Dean smiled and leaned down and pecked Sam on the lips. “I might stay a here a bit longer today. I promised one of the customers that I’d fix her car, and I don’t think I’ll be able to get it done in one hour before my shift ends.”

Sam gulped. Dean was going to work overtime for the beautiful woman. A million thoughts were spinning around in his head. What if Dean wasn’t going to work? What if he was meeting up with that woman later? 

“She’s on her way home, and if I can fix up her car today, she won’t have to check into a hotel tonight,” Dean said and took a bite of his cupcake. 

Sam just smiled tightly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read chapter 7 already, please read it before you read this chapter. I posted chapter 7 a couple of days ago. 
> 
> Thank you so much for not giving up on this story, I'm so glad that there are still people reading it even when I didn't update for months. Thanks for reading and commenting. 
> 
> Here is a super long chapter. Warning - this chapter contains homophobia.

Dean grabbed an old washcloth and wiped off the oil and grease off his hands. Giving up was never an option, Dean usually went out of his way to help his customers, but this time Dean had to make an exception. Aubrey’s car was up and running, but it was only a temporary fix. The car could break down again at any time. 

At six thirty sharp, Aubrey showed up at the auto shop. She was smiling, and Dean felt like a jackass, because he knew that he’d be letting her down. 

“I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?” Dean sighed. 

Aubrey tied up her hair in a ponytail. “Just lay it on me,” she said. 

“Your car is working, but it’s bound to break down sooner or later. You could make it home, or you might not even make it past the town limit before it happens,” Dean explained. “I can’t stop you from driving away, but I’d strongly suggest you get a room for the night. If your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, well, let’s just say that won’t be a great situation for you.”

“I get it,” Aubrey nodded. “I’d be in a pretty vulnerable situation. Damn, I was hoping I’d make it back home today.”

“Sorry,” Dean apologized. “We don’t get that many Rolls Royce here in Jacksville, so we don’t have the right spare parts.”

Aubrey smiled. “It’s not your fault. You did your best.”

“You should try Nichol’s down the road,” Dean said. 

“Excuse me?” Aubrey frowned. 

“It’s a motel, it’s the best one around here. It’s clean and bug-free, so you won’t have to shake the sheets before you climb into bed,” Dean said. 

“Thank you Dean,” Aubrey said, her voice was full of gratitude, “I mean you didn’t have to stay over. You don’t even know me.”

“I get paid overtime, so you might not thank me when you get the bill,” Dean joked. Overtime always paid more, and that’s why he had stayed over. Soon they were going to have one more mouth to feed. 

Aubrey moved in a few steps closer to Dean. Dean discretely tried to look down at Aubrey’s shoes, so that he wouldn’t have to look at her, while he took a step back. 

“You know, usually when a gay guy looks at my shoes it’s because he genuinely likes them,” Aubrey winked, “But you don’t strike me as a fashionista,” she laughed. 

“No, I’m not,” Dean unwillingly admitted, which also meant that he was admitting that he was avoiding eye contact with Aubrey. 

“You know, I don’t live here. I’ll only stay for one night,” Aubrey said slowly. 

She didn’t have to say the words ‘No one has to know’, Dean got it. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you Aubrey,” Dean said, “You’re right, I’m not gay, I’m bi. And if we had met, maybe four years ago, I’d be game. A night with you would’ve been the highlight of my week, maybe even the highlight of my year.”

Aubrey’s smile widened at Dean’s last words. 

“But,” Dean smiled, “I love my husband, and my kids. They are the highlight of my life.”

“Your husband is a very lucky guy,” Aubrey put his finger over Dean’s lips, “and don’t you dare protest.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Fine, he’s a lucky guy.” Although Dean still thought that he was the lucky one. 

“Can I at least give you a hug?” Aubrey asked. 

“Come here,” Dean said and pulled her in for a hug.

“So a night with me would’ve been the highlight of your year, huh?” she laughed into Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. 

\--

The house was quiet once Dean got back home. It was only a little after eight, so Sam was probably still up. Dean took of his jacket and sniffed his shirt. The scent of Aubrey’s strong perfume still lingered there, it hadn’t just stuck to his jacket. Dean wanted to smack himself for being so stupid. He should’ve showered before he had left work. 

Even though Dean hadn’t done anything wrong, he still felt like he shouldn’t come home to his husband when he reeked of woman’s perfume. 

“Hey, I thought I heard someone come in,” Sam smiled from at the top of the stairs. 

“You’re still up,” Dean commented.

Sam laughed. “Yeah, it’s like a quarter past eight. I might be pregnant, but I can stay awake past eight in the evening.”

“I’m just gonna hit the shower real quick, and then I want to hear about your day,” Dean fired off a quick smile before he practically fled to their downstairs bathroom, it was small and cold. Their upstairs bathroom was so much better, but Dean would have to walk past Sam if he wanted to get to that one, and Dean knew that Sam would catch the scent of the perfume if Dean got too close. Therefore Dean opted for the bathroom furthest away from Sam. 

\--

Sam bit his lip. Dean always showered when he got back home from work. Today was no exception, and Sam kept repeating that sentence in his head like a mantra. 

Sam grabbed a book and decided to read it in bed. 

When Dean came into their bedroom, freshly showered, five minutes later, Sam greeted him with a smile. Although that smile didn’t last very long. Once Sam noticed the angry red marks on Dean’s chest and neck his face fell. It looked like Dean had been scrubbing his skin furiously. Sam’s thoughts ventured into a dark, depressing place. Had Dean been trying to scrub something off? Like lipstick marks? 

“Did you make any dinner?” Dean asked. 

Sam nodded. “Chicken casserole. It’s in the fridge.”

“I’ve missed your chicken casserole,” Dean grinned and patted his stomach. “Do you know where my grey sweats are?” he asked while he dug around in their joined wardrobe. 

“I did the laundry earlier. Check the laundry room,” Sam said. 

“Thanks,” Dean smiled. 

When Dean went down into their basement, Sam quickly walked down the stairs and rushed inside their downstairs bathroom. He didn’t know what clues he expected to find there. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to find any clues. The bathroom smelled like Dean’s shower gel. Dean preferred a use a shower gel that had, what Dean called, a more masculine scent, while Sam preferred his shower gel to smell like a flower shop. 

Dean’s clothes were strewn over the floor, and Sam nervously picked up Dean’s jeans and checked the pockets. He silently prayed that no paper slip with a telephone number written on it would fall out. It didn’t. Dean’s pockets contained some old receipts, and some candy wrappers but, thankfully, no phone numbers. Sam noticed that he had accidentally stepped on Dean’s shirt. Sam picked it up, and when he did he noticed something. Dean’s shirt smelled of perfume. And not just any perfume, no, Sam recognized the sweet scent from the auto shop only hours earlier. 

Sam hastily put Dean’s clothes back on the floor and hurried out of the bathroom. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing,” he mumbled to himself over and over again. Dean wasn’t a cheater. There had to be a logical explanation for why Dean’s shirt smelled of woman’s perfume. 

A logical explanation that Dean was doing everything he could to avoid. Sam bit his lip again. Dean wasn’t cheating on him, and that was it. Sam would be stupid if he thought that Dean was cheating on him. 

\--

When they climbed into bed a couple of hours later, Dean wasn’t so tired. No, he groped and tickled Sam. 

“Dean, stop,” Sam scolded his husband while he tried to contain his laughter. 

“What was that?” Dean smirked. “You want me to take your clothes off?” Dean started to tug at the hem of Sam’s shirt. 

Sam lifted his arms up, and for a few seconds he forgot about earlier. He forgot that Dean had stayed over at work to fix up a woman’s car, and he forgot about Dean’s shirt that smelled so strongly of perfume. 

Sam wanted to be happy. He didn’t want to worry about stupid little things. Dean was way too loyal to do anything stupid. Besides, Sam had never really worried about Dean cheating on him before, so why start now? Sam blamed his sudden jealousy and anxiety on his pregnancy hormones. 

“I love you so much Sammy;” Dean murmured while he placed a trail of open-mouthed kisses over Sam’s collarbones. 

“Love you too Dean,” Sam said and tenderly stroked Dean’s stubbly cheek. He really did love his husband. To the moon and back. So when Dean started to undress him, Sam allowed him to. 

Sam rolled over to his side and let out a whimper when the first finger breeched his hole. Dean gently rubbed Sam’s arm while he added another finger. 

“I’m good,” Sam whispered after a while. There was some rustling of the sheets before Sam felt Dean push inside.

Dean slung his arm around Sam’s middle while he slowly moved in and out. 

As cheesy as it might sound, Dean hadn’t been lying earlier when he had said that Sam, and the kids of course, were the highlight of his life. 

Dean gently bit down on Sam’s shoulder while he picked up the pace of his thrusts. 

Sam let out a long moan when he came, and Dean followed soon thereafter. 

For a while they just laid there, sweaty and panting, basking in the afterglow. 

“Baby’s kicking like crazy,” Sam laughed and rubbed his tummy. 

“Yeah?” Dean lit up and placed both of his hands on Sam’s stomach. A second later, he felt a strong kick against his palm. “Do you think she’s mad at us for waking her up?” he asked, he was half serious, half-joking. 

“Nah,” Sam waved it off, “I think the commotion might have startled her though.” Sam shook his head. “And now I’m using female pronouns for our baby. We don’t know the gender yet Dean.”

“It’s a girl, I know it,” Dean brushed it off. 

“And I’m exhausted,” Sam yawned. 

“So no round two?” Dean joked. 

Sam replied by hitting Dean with a pillow. 

\--

“You’re in luck,” Dean told Aubrey when she came into the auto shop the next morning. “My father-in-law has many things in his garage, including spare parts for your car. I’ve fixed it up, and now you’re good to go.”

“Oh, thank god,” Aubrey breathed out. 

“I almost feel separation anxiety,” Dean joked. It was half true though, it wasn’t often that he’d get to work on a Rolls Royce. 

“Thank you for everything, really,” Aubrey said, “I made a fool of myself yesterday, and I shouldn’t have done that. Of course you weren’t going to throw away your entire marriage on a night with me.”

“Water the bridge,” Dean waved it off. Truth to be told, he had seduced plenty of married women when he was single. He couldn’t really stay mad at Aubrey for doing exactly what he had been doing just a few years ago. “You take care now Aubrey.”

Aubrey flashed a smile. “You too Dean.”

Dean nodded and watched her walk out the door. A moment later his cell phone beeped, he opened his messages and smiled. The crib that they had ordered was ready to be picked up at the store. 

“Bobby,” Dean said and stuck his head inside Bobby’s office. 

“Yeah?” the old man looked up. 

“I just got a text saying that the crib that I ordered last week is ready to be picked up at the store. The store closes before my shifts ends, and I’ll just need twenty minutes, I’ll come back later-“

“Go,” Bobby smiled and waved him off. 

“Thanks,” Dean smiled. 

\--

“Hey, what are you doing home so soon?” Sam said when his husband came through the front door.

“You know that round two that we talked about?” Dean waggled his eyebrows. 

Sam huffed. “No, you talked about that. I’m pregnant in my third trimester, you’re lucky I gave it up to you once last night.”

Dean let out a rich laughter. “I’m home because I need to borrow your dad’s truck. I’m going to pick up the new crib, and I’ll doubt that it’s going to fit into the Impala.”

“The crib has arrived?” Sam’s voice was filled with excitement. 

“Yeah, where do you keep the keys?” Dean asked. 

Sam immediately handed over the keys to Dean. “But the truck is over at my dad’s place,” Sam reminded his husband.

“Right, because it won’t fit into our garage,” Dean remembered. Sam’s car took up too much space at the auto shop, so Dean had driven it home very slowly, and with the Impala in their garage, it was impossible to fit Bobby’s truck as well. 

\--

Dean’s heart started to beat faster as he walked into store. It was a store full of children’s items, they had cribs, toys, giant teddy bear and lots of clothes. The best part was that everything was reasonably priced. Dean had crammed in a lot of overtime lately, so they weren’t broke anymore, but they weren’t exactly rich either.

“Hi, can I help you?” a middle-aged woman asked as soon as Dean had stepped inside. 

“Hi, yes you can, I’m here to pick up the crib,” Dean smiled. 

“Ah, I know just which one. George put it in the front so I wouldn’t have to go get it myself. Sometimes I love my husband,” she joked. 

“I think I’ll take a look around before I get the crib,” Dean said. Maybe he could find something for the baby. Maybe a small plush toy or something. 

“Please do, let me know if you need any help. I’m Stacey by the way,” Stacey said. 

Dean was looking at baby mobiles when Stacey came up behind him. “It’s hard not to buy everything, isn’t it?” she laughed.

“Yeah,” Dean admitted. He wanted to clear the entire store, buy everything, but he knew that they didn’t have the money for it. The crib was a big expense, and they hadn’t even picked the most expensive one, far from it actually. Dean looked down at the baby mobile he was holding and looked at the price tag. It wasn’t something they could afford right now. 

“You know, I think that every crib that I sell should come with a free baby mobile,” Stacey said and smiled at Dean. 

“No, no,” Dean quickly protested, he didn’t like to accept handouts. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Shush Honey, you’re getting that baby mobile,” Stacey told him

Dean sighed. Even though he didn’t like handouts, this one wasn’t for him, it was for the baby, and Dean didn’t want to deny his baby anything. 

“Thank you Stacey,” he said. 

\--

Sam was practically buzzing with excitement when Dean got home with the crib. “What took you so long?” Sam said. He was excited to see the new crib. It was the first one they had ever bought. 

“I looked at some other things as well,” Dean said and gave Sam a peck on the cheek. “I have to get back to work. Now, please remember that you are pregnant. Very pregnant. So don’t try to assemble the crib yourself. I’ll do it when I get back home.”

Sam pouted. Dean knew him all too well. “Fine,” Sam huffed. 

“See you later,” Dean said and gave Sam another peck on the cheek. 

\--

“No peeking!” Dean playfully warned as he covered Sam’s eyes. 

“I won’t,” Sam promised. God, he had married a big child. 

Dean carefully led Sam into their bedroom. “What do you think?” Dean said and removed his hand so that it wasn’t covering Sam’s eyes anymore. 

Sam’s heart jumped in his chest when he saw the crib next to their bed. Dean had put it together all by himself. Sam turned around in Dean’s arms. “You did a great job.” Dean had really done a great job. The crib was beautiful. 

“A couple of more weeks, and then there’s going to be a baby in it,” Dean murmured. 

“Thought you didn’t like chick-flick moments,” Sam teased. 

“This isn’t a chick-flick moment, this is a I-love-my-family moment,” Dean corrected his husband. Dean sniffed lightly in the air. “What smells so good?”

“Apple pie,” Sam smiled. “I gotta feed my big, strong man who just assembled our new crib all by himself,” Sam winked. 

Dean groaned. “You know how to please a man Sammy.”

“I forgot the vanilla ice-cream though,” Sam said. 

“I’ll go out and get it,” Dean immediately said. He didn’t need the ice-cream to eat apple pie, but he knew that Sam craved ice-cream. 

“No, it’s fine, eat the pie while it’s still warm. I’ll go out and get the ice-cream. I’ll take Noah with me. You look like you could use a nap,” Sam smiled. Dean had worked a nine-hour-shift, and as soon as he got home he started working on assembling the crib. 

\--  
Sam was scanning the aisles for Dean’s favorite brand of potato chips when he heard a laughter that sent chills up his spine. Sam didn’t even have to turn around to find out who it was, he already knew, he’d recognize that laughter anywhere. He had gone through twelve years of school with the tormentor. 

“Look who’s still stuck here in Jacksville,” Brody laughed. 

Sam could feel how every muscle in his body tensed. 

“Hey faggot, I’m talking to you,” Brody spat out. 

Sam bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he could taste blood. He refused to cry, he refused to give that asshole Brody the satisfaction of making him cry. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” Brody said, clearly angry. 

Sam refused to turn around, but Noah, sweet and kind Noah gave Brody a huge smile. Noah loved everyone, he always greeted people with a huge smile. Noah, who was sitting in the shopping cart, looked up at Brody and waved.

“At least one of you have manners,” Brody smirked. 

“Brody, why the hell did you run away from me?” 

Sam gripped the handles on the shopping cart so hard that his knuckles turned white. As if running into Brody hadn’t been bad enough, now Sam had to deal with Brody’s evil girlfriend Claire. Claire and Brody had left town after graduation and moved to a neighbouring town, and up until now, Sam hadn’t run into either of them. 

“Look who I found,” Brody hollered across the store. 

Sam could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, he slowly turned around and faced Brody and Claire. “Please, I have my son with me,” he begged. He hated that these people still held power over him. He wished that he was stronger. Even though Sam stood at least two or three inches taller than Brody, he still felt so small. 

“So that is how you keep your man?” Claire smirked. “By getting pregnant.”

Noah wasn’t smiling anymore, instead he was looking at his father in concern. 

“Please just, don’t,” Sam bit his lip as he pleaded with Claire and Brody to stop. 

“What’s that faggot? I didn’t hear you?” Brody teased. 

“Come on Brody, let’s leave. I’m bored,” Claire said and tugged at her boyfriend’s sleeve. 

Just as Sam was about to breathe out a sigh of relief, Claire turned around and smirked. “Oh, and make sure to tell your husband how grateful my sister is that he spent so many hours after closing time to work on her car. She called me, you know. Went on and on about how hot that mechanic Dean was, and how good it felt to have his strong arms wrapped around her.”

Sam couldn’t breathe. It felt like all the oxygen had been drained from his lungs. Sam had thought that the woman who came by the auto shop had looked familiar. She was Claire’s older sister Aubrey. Aubrey had left town years ago, and Sam had almost forgotten about her. 

When Brody and Claire finally left Sam broke down in tears. 

“Daddy?” Noah asked with a small voice. 

Sam quickly wiped away his tears. “Daddy is okay Buddy,” he assured his son and put on his best smile. 

“Daddy,” Noah said and reached out for his father. 

Sam picked up his son and hugged him close to his chest. “I love you so much,” Sam murmured into his son’s soft wisps of hair. Sam looked down at his wedding band and kissed it. Dean loved him, Sam knew that. Those evil people were just looking for ways to hurt him. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“See Dada!” Noah squealed. 

“Yeah, to Dada,” Sam smiled and kissed Noah’s chubby cheeks. 

Sam decided to go straight to the register, he didn’t want to spend another second in the store and risk running into the evil pair again. He had gotten the most important items already, like diapers for Noah, everything else could else could wait until the next time he went to the store. 

He hurried out to the parking lot and he was glad that he parked so close to the entrance. After he had loaded up the truck with his bags of groceries, he double-checked to make sure that Noah had been buckled up properly. When Sam adjusted Noah’s car seat he spotted something that caused the blood in his veins to freeze. 

“No, no,” Sam shook his head. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t. The Universe wouldn’t be so cruel on him. The lump in Sam’s throat doubled in size as he leaned down and picked up what was lodged in between the seats. 

Sam was in pain. Everything hurt. Badly. Before he knew it, he was throwing up. He could hear Noah’s desperate cries, but in that moment Sam didn’t know how to take care of his son. Sam didn’t know how to function. 

It was a bra. He had found a red bra in the backseat. It had been stuck between the seats. 

It was stupid, but all Sam could think about was how he and Dean had created their kids in the backseat of Dean’s Impala. Backseats were supposed to be holy to them. But Dean had slept with a woman in the backseat of his father-in-law’s truck. 

Sam didn’t know what to do. He had thrown up so many times now that all that there was nothing left in his stomach to throw up. His vision was fogged up and he could see people staring at him. His stomach churned as he dry-heaved, and his throat burned from throwing up so many times in a row. 

It couldn’t be happening. Sam saw Brody and Claire exiting the store, and he quickly got into his car and turned the key in the ignition. He had to get away. 

Sam moved on autopilot. He drove all the way home without stopping or crying or anything. When he arrived home, he parked outside the house as usual, picked up Noah, as usual, and went inside the house, as usual. 

When Dean greeted him at the door, Sam stopped working on autopilot. 

“Sammy, are you okay?” Dean asked in concern. “Did something happen? Is it the baby?!” Dean asked hysterically and placed both of his hands on Sam’s stomach. 

Sam took a step back. He didn’t want Dean to touch him. “The baby is fine,” he said. 

“Sammy, you gotta talk to me,” Dean said. “Here, let me take Noah,” Dean said and took Noah out of Sam’s hold. 

Sam just stood there, rooted to the spot, while Dean put Noah down for a nap. Sam didn’t know how long he stood there, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t know how to function. 

“He’s asleep,” Dean announced in a low tone as he walked down the stairs. 

Sam didn’t say anything. 

“Come on, let’s go sit on the couch,” Dean said. 

“I have to go,” Sam mumbled, “I have to go,” he repeated, only this time he said it loud enough for Dean to hear. 

“Go where?” Dean wanted to know. “Sam, you’re not making any sense.”

“I-I, I don’t know,” Sam stammered. Where would he go? He felt so ashamed. Dean had cheated on him. Dean had slept with someone else. Sam had tangible proof. He felt so damn ashamed. A part of him wanted to run out of the house, and another part of him wanted to pretend that everything was fine. Because the truth was that Sam didn’t know what to do if he confronted Dean. Sam didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to get a divorce? Was he supposed to stay with Dean? 

If only Sam put on his best smile and pretended that everything was fine, then he wouldn’t have to worry about how things would turn out if he got a divorce. If he left Dean, then he’d have to think about things like where the kids would live, or how he’d support himself without an income. 

“You’re scaring me,” Dean reached out and touched Sam’s cheek. 

The reaction was instant, Sam’s body jolted. 

“Sam, what happened while you were out?” Dean demanded to know. 

“I know about Aubrey,” Sam whispered. 

Dean’s shoulders slumped and Sam felt like he was about to throw up again. It was true. It had happened. Sam had been right. Dean had cheated on him. Oh god. 

“Sam listen to me, I don’t know what she told you, but nothing happened. She flirted with me, but I told her that nothing would happen, and I promise you, I haven’t done anything with that woman,” Dean said. 

“Why Dean?” Sam cried, he couldn’t even listen to a word Dean was saying. “I knew this would happen, everyone told me this would happen,” he cried. “I’m so stupid.”

“Sam, listen to me,” Dean sternly ordered, “Nothing happened between me and Aubrey.”

“I have to go,” Sam turned around and reached for the door handle, but Dean was quicker. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Dean said and placed his hand over Sam’s. “You’re going to stay here and we’re going to talk about what just happened here.”

“I don’t want to be here with you,” Sam cried. 

Dean took a step back, and he looked so incredibly hurt that Sam almost caved in. But Sam didn’t cave, he opened the door and walked out of it. 

\--

Dean wanted to punch a hole in the wall. He wanted to scream, but his son was sleeping upstairs so he couldn’t do either of those things. 

For some reason Aubrey had decided to stay in town, and she must’ve run into Sam at the grocery store and for some reason she had felt the need to destroy Dean’s marriage. That was the only possible explanation Dean could come up with to why Sam was upset. 

Or had anyone seen Aubrey and him hugging at the auto shop? Dean’s mind was spinning. His marriage, his family, meant the world to him. He couldn’t lose it, he refuse to lose it. 

\--

Sam ended up at his dad’s doorstep. He knocked on the door, and when his father opened Sam started crying again. 

“What is it son?” Bobby immediately asked. “What’s wrong?”

Sam couldn’t speak. 

“Come on in,” Bobby helped his son inside. 

“I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid,” Sam repeated over and over again. 

Bobby placed his hands on either side of Sam’s face. “You’re not stupid son, why would you say that?”

“No one can love me, I sho-uld’ve known that,” Sam’s voice broke. 

“Don’t say that, why would you say that?” Bobby asked. 

Sam hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t been enough to make his mom want to stay, he hadn’t been enough for Katie and he hadn’t been enough for Dean. There had to be some reason why everyone broke Sam’s heart. It was because Sam wasn’t enough. Even his own father had started working more after Marcy left, so he wouldn’t have to spend time with Sam, and when Bobby hadn’t been at work he had been drinking. Even though Sam had been a little kid, he knew what alcohol smelt like, and he had smelt it on his father several times. Sam was never enough. He hadn’t even been enough of a reason to make his dad stay sober. 

He should’ve known that he wouldn’t be enough for Dean. He had been so stupid thinking that someone like Dean, who could have anyone he ever wanted, would want to be with only him. 

Maybe that’s why Sam wanted to have kids so badly, because he wanted unconditional love. But even his kids would resent him some day. Maybe Dean should get custody. 

“Because it’s true,” Sam answered his father’s question. “Dean’s cheated on me.” It hurt to say those words out loud. 

Bobby was at loss for words. The only thing he could think of was how badly he wanted to hurt Dean. Bobby was going to make Dean pay for what he had done.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 9, sorry about the delay. Next chapter will be longer. Have a nice weekend.

“I don’t know what that woman told you but I haven’t cheated on you Sam, I promise you,” Dean slowly inhaled and closed his eyes while he exhaled. “Sammy, I promise you that I have never cheated on you. Never. Do you hear me?” he said a bit harsher than he had intended. The plan had been to call Sam and calmly explain everything, not to leave an angry voicemail. 

“I’ve fucked this up,” Dean rubbed his temples. 

\--

“What do you mean I can’t go over there and knock some sense into that boy?!” Bobby shouted.

“Dad, don’t,” Sam wiped his nose. He knew how badly his father wanted to punish Dean for what he had done, but Sam didn’t want that. No matter how much Dean had hurt him, he was still Noah’s and the new baby’s dad. “Please don’t. If not for me, then at least don’t do it for Noah’s sake. If Dean and I get…” Sam couldn’t even say it. Not out loud. Divorce was an ugly word. “If Dean and I aren’t going to stay together,” a lump formed in his throat, “I don’t want it to end like this. Not like this. I don’t want a big fight.”

“You are my son, and I will not accept this. No one gets to treat you like this,” Bobby argued. 

Sam didn’t say anything, he placed his hands on his belly and gently rubbed it. He thought of the baby in there, how he or she would never grow up with both parents in a stable household. Sam couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave Dean. Noah adored his Dada. Sam wasn’t a heartless monster, he couldn’t take away Dean from Noah. And then there was the whole love-thing. No matter how much Sam’s heart was aching, he still loved Dean. That hadn’t changed. That would probably never change. 

He thought back to the moment when he had first met Dean. The memory of twenty-year-old Dean leaning against the doorframe, with his coy smile and spiky hair, was a memory that used to make Sam smile. Not this time though. Sam was too tired, too sad to smile. 

“Couples get through things like this, right?” Sam bit his lip. 

“You’re going back to him?” Bobby asked incredulously.

“We have kids dad,” Sam defended his choice. 

Bobby muttered something incoherent and shook his head. 

Sam started to rub circles on his belly. When he felt a strong kick against the palm of his hand he knew that he had made the right choice. Their kids deserved both of their parents under the same roof. 

So what if Dean had slept with someone else? A lot of people cheated on their spouses. Dean was no different. 

It didn’t matter how much Sam tried to pretend, or tried to convince himself that Dean’s betrayal was nothing. 

It wasn’t nothing. It was everything. It was Sam’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces. Stomped on. Ripped out of his chest. 

Sam couldn’t fucking breathe. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear his father begging him to calm down, but Sam couldn’t calm down. 

“Come on Sam, think of the baby, this can’t be good for the baby,” Bobby pleaded while he stroked his son’s back. 

Sam forced himself to somewhat calm down. His chest was heaving, but he could feel his breathing slowly returning to normal. 

“That’s it, that’s it,” Bobby pulled in his son for a hug. 

Sam rested his head on his father’s shoulder. 

“You should go rest,” Bobby said. 

Sam shook his head. He didn’t want to close his eyes, he was scared that he’d dream about Aubrey and Dean. Together. Sam had a tendency to have nightmares every time he went to bed sad or angry. 

“Come on, you need a nap Sam,” Bobby tried to reason with his son. 

Sam reluctantly stood up on wobbly legs. “Thanks,” he murmured when his dad helped keep him steady. 

Bobby silently started to lead his son towards the guestroom. 

“No, no,” Sam wildly shook his head. He couldn’t stay in the guestroom, it held too many memories of him and Dean together. “Not the guestroom.” 

“Okay, you can sleep in my bed then,” Bobby said and escorted Sam to the bedroom. 

Bobby tucked his son in and was just about to hit the lights when Sam cleared his throat.

“I have...uhm, I have some groceries in the car. In your truck. I didn’t bring in the groceries, and there’s a pack of diapers for Noah in there, and he might need them. Could you..?” Sam asked. “I locked the truck, and Dean doesn’t have a key.” 

Bobby nodded. He had a spare key for the truck. 

“Don’t hurt him,” Sam said. “Promise me you won’t.”

“Fine,” Bobby reluctantly replied before he hit the lights. 

Bobby walked across the street to Sam and Dean’s house. He unlocked the truck and opened up the trunk and found the groceries in there. Just as he was about to walk away from the truck he spotted something red in the backseat. As he took a closer look, he could clearly see something he never should’ve let his son seen.

“Oh, no,” Bobby mumbled as he started putting two and two together. He had to talk to Dean. 

\--

Dean was no coward. He had never backed away from a confrontation. John Winchester would be furious if he found out that his son were hiding in the kitchen because he couldn’t confront an angry Bobby Singer. 

“Dean, come on, open up!” Bobby banged on the front door. 

Dean could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He wasn’t scared of Bobby. He wasn’t scared of getting his ass kicked. The thing that kept him from opening the door and facing Bobby wasn’t fear of getting physically hurt, it was fear of getting his heart broken. 

What if Sam had sent over his dad to tell Dean that their marriage was over. Dean couldn’t deal with that. He couldn’t bear the thought of not being married to Sammy. 

“Come on Dean, I’m not here to yell at you. I know that this is all just one big misunderstanding,” Bobby tried. 

That got Dean’s attention. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Was Bobby messing with him? Was it just a cheap trick to get Dean to open the door? 

It didn’t matter. Dean decided to take the risk. He opened the door and steeled himself for whatever was to come. 

“Come on, I’ll take you to Sam,” Bobby said. 

Dean blinked in confusion. He had thought that Bobby would take a swing at him, not lead him back to Sammy. 

“I’ll fill in the blanks on the way over,” Bobby sighed tiredly. 

“I’ll go get Noah,” Dean said. 

\--

“Sam, wake up,” Bobby gently shook his son awake. When Sam stirred a little, Bobby turned the lights on. 

Sam blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the brightness in the room. 

“Sam, we have to talk,” Bobby said. 

Sam was instantly awake. “What did you do to him? I told you not to do anything!” he hysterically screamed. “Is he hurt? Is he okay?”

“Easy, easy Sam,” Bobby gently squeezed Sam’s shoulders. “Dean’s fine. He’s waiting in the kitchen for you.”

Sam was confused to put it mildly. “Dean’s here?”

“You found a bra in the back of the truck, that’s why you accused Dean for cheating on you,” Bobby said, it wasn’t a question.

Sam could only form a nod. 

Bobby looked away. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Dean’s innocent son. The, uh,” Bobby nervously scratched the back of his head, “The bra is mine.”

Sam’s eyes widened. 

“No, it’s not mine!” Bobby quickly corrected his mistake. “I mean it’s not mine. I don’t wear…” Bobby shook his head, “It’s Sheila’s.”

“Sheila?” Sam slowly said. 

“You were the one who told me to go out with her,” Bobby quickly said. “And we did. Last night. And then I drove her home, and well, we…” 

“Oh, god,” Sam groaned. 

“Is it just the bra?” Bobby asked. “I mean is the bra the only thing that made you doubt Dean’s loyalty? Because if it is, then you should be good now,” Bobby awkwardly straightened his shirt. 

Sam wished that he could reply ‘yes’, but the situation was way more complicated than that. 

“I’ll send in Dean,” Bobby said before getting a reply from Sam. 

Sam nodded. 

A few moments later Dean appeared in the doorframe. 

Sam could tell that Dean had been crying, his eyes were red-rimmed. Sam felt a pang of guilt. What if Dean hadn’t cheated on him? What if it all just was a big misunderstanding? 

Dean cleared his throat before he spoke. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel happy,” he said. 

Sam didn’t know what to say, so he just remained silent. 

“I mean I want to feel happy that our marriage isn’t over, and I am. I don’t want us to be over. But I’m still hurt. We’re not fine just because you now know that the bra you found wasn’t proof of me cheating on you. You should’ve known that from the beginning Sam,” Dean shook his head. “You should’ve known me better. You should’ve known that I’d never cheat on you.”

“It wasn’t just the bra,” Sam bit his lip. 

“Then what?” Dean wanted to know. 

“I ran into some people from high school, and they said some things,” Sam could feel the tears burning behind his eyelids. 

“Then talk to me about it Sam,” Dean argued, “Don’t shut me out and immediately assume the worst of me, because that hurt. Dammit. That fucking hurt!” 

“I’m sorry,” Sam cried. “It’s just that I saw you and Aubrey together at the auto shop, and then I ran into Aubrey’s younger sister and she said that you and Aubrey had done more than just talking. Finding that bra was just too much.”

Dean fought the urge to just wrap his arms around Sammy and comfort him. Dean had always hated seeing Sam crying. But truth to be told, Dean wasn’t ready to do that. He was still hurting. Sam had really hurt him. 

“I hugged her goodbye,” Dean said, “Aubrey,” he added just to clarify who he was referring to. “It was unprofessional, I know. But I don’t have feelings for her. I didn’t want to take things further with her. It was a simple hug goodbye. Nothing more.” 

Sam bit down on his bottom lip. 

“Come on, let’s go home. Noah’s been asking about you,” Dean said and turned around and walked away. 

Sam slowly stood up on wobbly legs. His hands were shaking as he tried to button up his shirt. Getting dressed took a lot longer than usual. 

Dean returned with Noah in his arms. 

“Daddy!” Noah happily squealed and squirmed in Dean’s arms until Dean set him down on the floor. 

Noah immediately rushed over to hug his father. Sam inhaled his son’s scent as they hugged. “Hey Budd-y,” Sam’s voice broke. 

Noah looked up at his father. “Daddy sad?” he asked and looked at Sam with his big green eyes. 

“No, Daddy’s fine,” Sam tried to put on his best smile for his son’s sake. 

Noah turned around and looked at his other dad. “Kiss it bettaw!” he said, proud of himself for coming up with the perfect solution. 

Dean hesitated.

“Kiss it bettaw!” Noah repeated, frustrated that his daddies weren’t kissing. 

Dean wordlessly took a few steps across the room, and when he and Sam were standing as close as they possibly could, Dean pulled in Sam for a kiss. 

Noah happily clapped his little hands, but Sam could tell that Dean’s lips were stiff and the kiss was almost mechanic. Dean was only trying to make their son happy. That was all it was. 

“Dean, I’m sorry,” Sam whispered when Dean pulled back. 

“You’re pregnant,” Dean said. 

“What?” Sam wondered. 

“You’re pregnant with my baby. It’s my duty to make sure you have the best pregnancy. Stress isn’t good for the baby, which is why I’m going to let this go. I’m not going to argue with you. We’re going to forget this ever happened,” Dean whispered back. He turned around and smiled at Noah. “Come on Buddy, let’s go home.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting, even though I haven't posted a chapter in months. My life has been pretty hectic, but things have calmed down and I have already started on the next chapter. The next one is going to be a longer chapter, because baby nr two might just appear.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. To an outsider it looked like an ordinary family dinner, but Sam knew better. Noah, however, didn’t. Thankfully he was oblivious to the tension. 

“Do you want some more juice?” Sam asked Dean, mostly just to start a conversation. 

Dean made a sound that sounded like a ‘no’. Sam put the carton of juice down. It had been two weeks since Sam falsely accused Dean of cheating on him. Two weeks of the two of them dancing around the subject. Actually, Sam had wanted to talk about it, but Dean had just waved it off. Dean had said something about how stress wasn’t good for the baby and therefore Sam should just drop the subject. Unfortunately, the situation they were in now were far more stressful for Sam. It hurt Sam to be so close to Dean yet so far away. Sure, they talked, but they talked about who was going to do the laundry or what they were going to cook for dinner. That was it. 

Sam was screaming on the inside. He wanted nothing more than to have a real, honest conversation with his husband. Sometimes Sam noticed how the tension in their home was starting to take its toll on Dean. Dean would climb into bed late, and when he thought Sam was asleep, Dean would reach out and touch Sam’s belly. 

It broke Sam’s heart that his husband only touched him when he thought that he was asleep. That this was what their marriage had come down to. 

Noah made a loud happy sound, demanding his parents’ attention. 

“Did you like the spaghetti Bud?” Sam smiled and stuck a finger into his son’s chubby cheek. Noah responded by nodding his head vigorously. 

Dean and Sam looked at each other for a split second and smiled, it was a nice moment until Dean cleared his throat and looked down at his plate. 

“I’m just gonna go take a look at your car,” Dean said and stood up. “You said it needed an oil change.”

“You can do that tomorrow,” Sam mumbled. He knew how tired Dean was. 

“Nah, s’ fine. I’ll do it now,” Dean shrugged and put his plate in the dishwasher. 

Sam felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Even though Dean was exhausted, he’d rather go out and work on the car than stay in the kitchen and talk to Sam. Dean jumped at every opportunity to leave the room and avoid talking to Sam. 

“Thanks for dinner Sam,” Dean said. 

Sam just hummed something in return since he wasn’t capable of using words. 

\--

Sam stripped down to his boxers before he got under the covers. Dean had fixed up the car, and he had mumbled something about taking a shower before he headed into their bathroom. 

Sam turned off the lights, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep, so he decided to just lay there in the darkness and wait for Dean. For some reason, Dean was taking his time. Usually Dean showered for five minutes, so this was unusual. Just as Sam was contemplating whether or not he should go in there and make sure that Dean was fine, he heard a familiar sound. The blood in Sam’s veins froze. Dean was masturbating. 

They hadn’t had sex in over two weeks, even though Sam had tried to initiate it several times. Normally it was the other way around. Dean used to grope Sam, flirt with him, seduce him, and turn him into a withering mess. But that had stopped, and Sam had tried his best to show Dean how badly he wanted him. Dean had used every excuse in the book, he had claimed that he was tired, or that Sam was too pregnant to have sex, even though they both knew that Sam was perfectly capable of having sex. Dr Lawrence would have told them otherwise. 

Apparently Dean wasn’t too tired to use his right hand. 

When Dean emerged from their bedroom a few minutes later Sam turned on the lights. It startled Dean, who let out a surprised sound. 

“I heard you,” Sam said. 

“What?” Dean grunted and walked over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. “I’m not allowed to jack off?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Sam shook his head. “It’s just… I’m right here Dean. Why can’t we have sex?”

“I don’t want to talk about this, let’s just go to sleep,” Dean said. 

“No,” Sam wasn’t having it. 

Dean let out a sigh. 

“It’s been two weeks Dean. Just please talk to me,” Sam exclaimed. 

Dean took a seat on their bed. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said.

Sam looked at his husband, waiting for him to elaborate, but Dean remained silent. “You want what? Have sex with me?” Sam guessed. 

“Sex,” Dean waved with his hand, “Talk. Everything.”

“So why aren’t you?” Sam questioned. 

“Don’t know what to say to you anymore,” Dean confessed while he toyed with a loose strand in their blanket. 

Sam frowned. “You don’t know how to talk to me? Just say what you think and feel and we’ll take it from there.”

“Okay,” Dean let out a breath that he hadn’t even realized that he was holding. “It fucking hurt. All of it. You thought that I was a cheater, and not only that. You thought that I’d go out there and fuck someone else while you are pregnant. Do you even know me?”

“Dean, I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” Sam reached out and took Dean’s hand, and he was glad when Dean didn’t retract his hand. 

“I didn’t cheat on you back when it was just you and me, and I’d definitely never cheat on you now when he have one kid and another one on the way,” Dean said. 

“I know,” Sam mumbled. 

“I’m not gonna lie to you Sammy,” Dean said, “Aubrey was attractive, but did I want to sleep with her? No, “Dean caressed the back of Sam’s hand with his thumb. “Other people aren’t as appealing to me anymore. I don’t want to go out and have one-night-stands. Not since you and I got together. You gotta trust me on this one Sammy. I don’t want to do anything with anyone who isn’t you.”

Sam could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. “I trust you.” Dean leaned forward and captured Sam’s lips in a kiss. 

For a while they just laid there and kissed like love-struck teenagers. The kissing got heated after a while though. 

“You wanna help me?” Dean smiled and guided Sam’s hand down to his crotch. 

“Hell yeah,” Sam surprised himself by saying. He normally didn’t use such language, but he was pregnant and horny and had gone without sex in over two weeks. 

Dean let out a laugh before he leaned down and bit down on Sam’s shoulder. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long to get Dean ready. Once Dean was hard, Sam practically threw the bottle of lube at him. 

Sam let out a long moan as the first finger breached his hole. He impatiently pushed back until Dean added another finger. 

When Sam had had enough prep Dean pushed inside in one swift move. “Fuck, I’ve missed this,” Dean mumbled before he started moving. 

Afterwards they just laid there, happy and sated. 

Sam gently caressed his belly. 

“Baby okay?” Dean asked and placed his hand on top of Sam’s. 

“Yeah,” Sam smiled widely. “Just moving around.”

“Good,” Dean smiled back. 

“I’ve missed it too,” Sam said as a response to what Dean had said earlier. 

Dean scooted closer until his head was resting on Sam’s shoulder. 

“We’re okay, right?” Sam gnawed at his bottom lip as he awaited the answer. 

“More than okay Sammy,” Dean kissed Sam’s temple. 

Sam reached out and picked up Dean’s hand and started to play with Dean’s fingers. “I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you,” he said. 

“Yeah?” Dean smiled in response. “You thought I was hot, didn’t ya?” he cockily joked. 

“Yeah, well, there was that, but really though. I didn’t just think you looked like sex on legs, you know? There was more to it. You just showed up at my doorstep and I felt like you were everything I needed. Like this was what I had been waiting for,” Sam smiled. “Maybe it’s silly,” he shrugged. 

“No, no,” Dean protested, his throat was getting thick with emotion. 

“I think I’m scared of losing you,” Sam admitted. “People I love tend to leave so easily. I guess I was just waiting for you to do the same.”

“Not leaving you Sammy,” Dean promised. 

“I just… my mom left when she found something better, and Katie left me because she found friends that were cooler than me. I know the full story behind Katie’s choice now, but I just can’t let go of this stupid thoughts,” Sam quieted down. 

“Hey, talk to me,” Dean urged for Sam to continue. “What are these stupid thoughts?”

“That I’m not enough,” Sam confessed. “That people are just with me until they find something better.”

“You’re right,” Dean looked at Sam, and Sam’s breath hitched. “That is stupid. Probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Dean continued. “You are not some stop along the way Sammy. I’m not here waiting for something, or someone else. I’m in this for the long haul.”

“If anything I’m worried sometimes,” Dean admitted.

“About what?” Sam asked.

“When we met you hadn’t even been on a date with anyone,” Dean said. “Who’d you have picked if you had options? If there had been other guys competing for your attention.”

“Dean,” Sam said, “I don’t ever want you to think like that.” Sam was genuinely shocked. Never in a million years would he have thought that Dean was struggling with these thoughts. “I’m not with you only because you’re the first guy to show me some interest. Honestly, a relationship like that wouldn’t have lasted this long.”

Dean was silent for a while. 

“What are you thinking about?” Sam asked. 

“How you’ve turned me into a sap Sammy,” Dean said. 

Sam let out a laugh. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Dean needed a break from the chick-flick moment. 

Sam grinned mischievously before he threw an arm around Dean and pulled him in close. “I love you my giant sap,” Sam smiled as he peppered Dean’s face with kisses. 

“Oh god,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Let’s just sleep,” he said before he turned off the lights.

“My snuggle bug,” Sam continued to tease his husband relentlessly. 

“Would you just be quiet?” Dean groaned.

“My snuggly- Aow!” Sam let out a yelp and rubbed the spot on his arm where Dean had pinched him. 

“’Night Sammy,” Dean murmured.


	11. Baby nr. 2 is born

Sam woke up with a start. He was in pain. Excruciating pain. “Oh god,” Sam mumbled and stroked his belly, and when he felt how hard it was his fingers trembled. There was no use in denying it anymore. He was having contractions. “Dean?” Sam shook his husband. 

“Mhmm?” Dean mumbled. 

Sam touched the sheets and his breath hitched in his throat when he felt the dampness underneath him. His water had broken. “I think I’m in labor,” he whispered. That did it. Dean sat up straight in less than a second. 

“Oh, okay, we should. Hospital,” Dean nodded and practically jumped out of bed. “Where’s your bag?” Dean looked around. Sam knew which bag Dean was talking about, they had packed a hospital bag just a week ago, but Sam couldn’t care less about the damn bag. He had other things to worry about, like the fact that his body had suddenly decided to turn itself inside and out. At least it felt that way. Sam tried to take deep breaths. He leaned forward and tried to remember something, anything that he had learnt in Lamaze class but it was like his brain had stopped functioning and could only scream painpainpain.

“We have to call your dad, someone’s gotta get Noah,” Dean exclaimed as if he suddenly remembered that they had a son. “Oh shit,” Dean said through gritted teeth as he stubbed his toe on something. 

Sam threw the covers aside, he was sweating like crazy, and he tried to rub soothing circles over his belly, but nothing worked. “Dean, I really think we have to go now!” Sam yelled as he felt a strong urge to push, something he’d rather be doing at a hospital with a doctor present. 

“Just a sec, I’m calling your dad,” Dean said while he shuffled through some things on his nightstand trying to find his cell phone. 

“Now Dean! Now!” Sam yelled. It was like he could feel the baby pushing on his opening between his legs. 

“But…okay,” Dean nodded and rushed over to Sam. “Okay, I’m gonna help you stand up okay? Lean on me.”

Sam started to breathe faster, and he could only shake his head. “Can’t,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Okay, I’ll carry you then,” Dean said and reached for Sam, only to be pushed away. 

“Don’t touch me!” Sam yelled. Fuck, everything was progressing so fast. Too fast. 

“Sam, we really have to go now,” Dean said and reached for Sam again. 

“No, no,” Sam let out a choked sob, “I can feel everything. It’s ah-,“ he cried out as a contraction wracked through his body. 

Dean was at loss for what to do. Out of all the scenarios that he had pictured in his head, this was definitely not how he had thought the birth of their second child would go. Dean had envisioned a calmer situation where they’d call Bobby and say goodbye to Noah before they headed over to the hospital. Now everything was chaotic. But that was fine. Dean could deal with chaos. He was a hunter after all. He snapped out of his reverie, and became a man on a mission. 

“Sam, we need to get you to the hospital. Sit up so I can carry you downstairs to our car,” Deans spoke in a calm, yet authoritative tone. 

Sam shook his head again. “No,” he said. “I can’t, the baby is coming now.” As much as Sam wanted to go to the hospital, he knew that there wasn’t any time for that. He could practically feel the baby pushing down on his opening. 

That was not happening. No. Dean shook his head. “But Sam-“

“Dean,” Sam cut his husband off, “I’d rather have the baby here,” he paused to take a deep breath, “than in the back of your car on the ah-“ he let out a whimper, “on the side of the road,” he finished in a whisper.

Dean could deal with chaos, but delivering a baby? Not so much. Dean’s heart was hammering in his chest. 

Sam desperately tried to shimmy out of his pants, but when he couldn’t get them off he turned to Dean and sent him a pleading look. 

They were doing this. They were going to deliver the baby at home. Dean realized that he had to snap out of it, and get his shit together. Now was not the time for freaking out, Sam needed him more than ever now. 

“Let me do it,” Dean said and helped Sam pull down his damp sleep pants. “Sam, I need you to spread your legs. I need to check…” Dean didn’t get any further than that, Sam willingly spread his legs the second his pants were off. 

Dean let out a gasp, and Sam immediately sat up. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked, clearly in panic. 

“Nothing’s wrong Sammy, we’re going to have a baby,” Dean squeezed Sam’s leg. Dean could actually see their baby’s head, not the whole of it, but a part of it. 

Dean worked on autopilot as he went over to their linen closet, pulled out a bunch of towels, which he threw on the bed, and he even threw one over Sam’s legs, because Dean knew that Sam didn’t want his father to see him like that. Dean found his phone and pressed Bobby’s speed dial and as soon as Bobby picked up, Dean said “Sam’s in labor” and then hung up so he could make the next call. He called the hospital and they thankfully answered quickly. 

“I need Dr Lawrence,” Dean didn’t even bother with a simple hello. 

“I don’t know where she is at the mo-“

“Listen, my husband is seconds away from giving birth to our child. At home. Get me Dr Lawrence,” Dean said through gritted teeth. Pleasantries be damned. 

“I’ll get her,” the receptionist promised. 

Dean put the call on speaker and put his cell phone on the nightstand. 

“Dean?” Sam cried, the tears were running down his cheeks.

Dean sat down next to Sam and caressed his face. “Don’t you worry Sam, everything is going to be okay.”

Sam could hear Noah crying from his room, and it broke Sam’s heart. His son was alone and crying. 

“Dean? Dean, are you there?” 

Both Dean and Sam looked at the cell phone once they heard Dr Lawrence’s voice. Dean quickly picked up the phone and said something to her, Sam couldn’t tell what Dean was saying. 

Sam felt so spent, and he hadn’t even started to push. He could hear Dean talking to him, but he couldn’t understand the words that he was saying. Out of the corner of his eye, Sam could see his father burst into the room. He could see his father and Dean exchange a few words before his father turned to him. 

“Sam?” Bobby said and placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders. 

Noah’s cries only got louder. 

“Please go to Noah,” Sam begged his dad. 

“Sam, he’s fine,” Bobby said, he was more worried about his son. 

“Go to Noah, it’ll make Sam a whole lot calmer if Noah’s calm,” Dean told his father-in-law. Dean knew that there was no way Sam would be able to calm down and focus on giving birth if Noah was upset. 

Bobby hesitated for a couple of seconds before he left the room. 

Sam didn’t know how or when he started pushing, but he did start pushing, and Dean kept urging him on. Sam felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin, the pain was unbearable and he wanted to flee. He wanted to run away and hide, but thankfully his body still knew how to do its job even though he was freaking out in his mind. 

“Good Sam, you’re doing so good. Keep going,” Dean tried to put on a smile for Sam’s sake, but on the inside he was freaking out. When Dr Lawrence had asked him if there was any blood, and how much, Dean had said that there wasn’t much, and Dr Lawrence had said ‘good’. Dean didn’t think Sam looked good. It was downright painful to watch as Sam cried and screamed out in pain. 

“You’re doing good,” Dean felt like a broken record, but he knew he had to stay calm and positive for Sam. 

“Is the head out?” Dr Lawrence asked. 

For a second, Dean forgot that Dr Lawrence was on speaker, and that she couldn’t see him because he nodded. 

“Dean?” Dr Lawrence practically yelled. 

“Yeah,” Dean whispered. “The head is out,” he said a bit louder. 

When Sam heard that he couldn’t help but laugh through the tears. The joy was bubbling up inside of him. It wouldn’t be much longer until he’d get to hold his baby. 

Sam managed to find some divine strength and will power, and started to really, really push. 

Sam’s head was spinning, stars were dancing in front of his eyes and from somewhere he could hear a child crying. But Noah didn’t sound like that. Noah wasn’t the one crying. 

“Sam, we have a daughter, you hear that? We have a baby girl,” Dean cried and held up a screaming infant. 

“Is she fine?” was the first thing Sam asked. He prayed that she was. 

“Seems fine to me,” Dean smiled and placed the baby on Sam’s chest. 

And as Sam looked down on their baby his heart expanded in his chest. He cradled the baby close to his chest. “Hi you,” he rasped out, surprised that his voice was even working as his throat was hoarse from screaming earlier. Sam could feel Dean kissing his cheeks, temples and finally his lips. 

“I’m so proud of you Sammy,” Dean murmured as he peppered Sam’s face with kisses. 

Sam didn’t even notice when two EMTs rushed into their bedroom. Thankfully, Dean did, and he went over the birth with one of them, while the other took a look at Sam. 

“Hi, my name is Martha, I’m an EMT,” Martha introduced herself to Sam. “Would you let me take a look at your baby?”

Sam unwillingly let go of his little baby, but he didn’t take his eyes off of her as Martha examined her. 

“Sam, I’m going to need you to spread your legs a bit, I’m just going to see if you need any stitches,” the other EMT said. Sam did as he was told. 

“Did he deliver the placenta alright?” Martha asked her colleague, who gave a nod in return. Sam hadn’t even realized that he had delivered the placenta. 

“Are they both okay?” Dean asked the EMTs. 

Martha gave him a warm smile, “Yeah, everything looks okay.”

Dean felt like he could finally let out a huge breath, he felt ten times lighter and happier. 

They had done it.


End file.
